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DD's boyfriend staying over?

(9 Posts)
1973mummy Mon 11-Jun-18 20:17:50

This may be a long thread but I ask that if you plan on replying, please read through smile

My 16 year old dd has been with her boyfriend (who is also 16) since they were 14 (and have known eachother since they were 7!) my daughter and her boyfriend are beyond mature and i could see them being together for a lifetime. For about 2 months and after speaking with his parents about it, I have been allowing him to stay over and in the same bed as my dd. The reason we allow this is because we know that they are sexually active and that stopping them could just cause more trouble. I asked my dd if she would be ok with getting a contraceptive implant which she agreed to and has had for a couple of months now. Now having my dd's boyfriend stay overnight has become quite normal for us, but my mum came to stay at our house for a weeks visit and when she found out that I was allowing my dd to have a boy stay over, she was rather angry with me and was lecturing me about how I was letting their relationship go too far at their young age. I was wondering what your opinion was about this and are her boyfriend parents, my husband, and i wrong for allowing this?

I also wanted to add that my dd has nightmares after some family trauma that occured several years ago and since allowing them to spend the night together they have lessened. (and before someone mentions that sleeping with someone who was PTSD nightmares can be dangerous, her nightmares do not cause her body to move but often result in crying and her boyfriend is able to calm her)

frenchfancy Mon 11-Jun-18 20:21:27

I think you are being very sensible and your Mum needs to mind her own business.

NoNarnas Mon 11-Jun-18 20:48:41

You sound very sensible. She is old enough and he is a long term partner.

saltandvinegarcrisps1 Mon 11-Jun-18 21:30:54

Your DM is judging by her generation. They/you are doing nothing wrong. Well done OP - I bet your daughter throws up all the better from having you trust her and respect her.

saltandvinegarcrisps1 Mon 11-Jun-18 21:31:27

* your daughter grows up

Teenageromance Mon 11-Jun-18 22:37:35

We are not in the situation - your Mum is. Mums are often right and saying your daughter might have found her life partner at 14 is a tad worrying to me. But I would say probably see if something your Mum said is ringing true for you - you wouldn’t have posted if you though it was total nonsense

1973mummy Tue 12-Jun-18 19:11:04

You're certainly correct about my DM needing to mind her own business. I've calmed her down since and explained the situation more thoroughly.

cdtaylornats Tue 12-Jun-18 20:33:54

Just because your Mum is in her declining years she should not be denying your DD her reclining years

mumofengland Wed 13-Jun-18 14:50:32

I think you're being sensible and as already stated your DM needs to mind her own business! We allowed my DD to have her BF over when she was 16 1/2 and they are now engaged at 24. I don't think its worrying that you said you think they'd last a lifetime. Sometimes its really just meant to be and its clear.

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