How to deal with moody 17 year old

[VioletCharlotte]

I'm looking for some advice on how to get through to my 17 year old DS. He's always been a bit moody, but normally bounces back quite quickly. However for the last week he's been really quiet and withdraw and flares up if I say the slightest thing he doesn't agree with. He's normally pretty social but isn't going out at all, just sits in his room, either on his phone or on the PS4.

He's finished college until September now, is looking for a job but no luck so far. I've tried to involve him in doing things with me but he's not interested and won't talk to me and says nothings wrong.

Clearly something is wrong, but I've got no idea how to get him to open up. So should I just leave him to it or keep trying? I'm getting sick of having my head bitten off, but at the same time I'm worried about him.

[Vitalogy]

Mostly back off I'd say. Has he been stressed doing exams etc?
What sort of things are you having to speak to him about?
Drive you potty sometimes don't they!

[VioletCharlotte]

Not exams, but we do have to go into college next week to have a conversation about whether he's allowed to go back next year He says he's not worried, but could be that. Or could be to do with a girl, I guess. Who knows?

I'm fed up of having my head bitten off though when I ask him to do something as simple as empty his bin.

[Vitalogy]

Sorry just getting back to you.

Maybe the college issue is playing on his mind, still no excuse to be rude though.

See, my sons room is a no go zone for me, I gave up the nagging, it's been pretty disgusting for a couple of years, seems to be improving as of late

See how the college appointment goes, things might become a bit clearer then.

[Vitalogy]

ps, re the bin issue, my son constructed some cardboard walls to expand the height of his bin to save him emptying it so often

[shadypines]

It's tough isn't it Violet so sorry you are having a rough time, I've got one 19yrs drives me nuts a lot of the time!

Re the communication issue, just make sure he knows you are there for him and if he wants to chat about anything he can.
Do try and let some stuff go, I've no easy answers about how far to 'nag' them re what chores, I wish I did and many a time I have ended up doing stuff myself for an easier life, rightly or wrongly I don't know. That said I think you have to have some sort of boundaries of respect and 'weight pulling' but I don't think they have to be rigid, be prepared to move them around depending on the situations. I think you just know yourself what feels right? Hope that's not too wishy washy....

[VioletCharlotte]

Hi, thanks for the replies. Teenagers are hard work sometimes! His mood seems a bit better, I think it was the college meeting hanging over him (thankfully, he's allowed to return next year, so long as he's pulls his socks up).

He's driving me mad though, as he literally does nothing all day, apart from play on the play station and use his phone. He is looking for a summer job, but has had a couple of bad experiences, so feeling very negative about the whole thing. I'm doing my best to encourage him and be positive with him, but I do have to bite my tongue, I must admit.