15yo son and alcohol

[intuition]

DS 15 seems to enjoy a few beers and sometimes vodka with his friends. Doesn't come home pissed but has obvs been drinking. He is honest about what he drinks but he worries me. He is a big lad, over 6ft, and gets served in the coop and news agent. Don't really know what to think!! Pretty annoyed that he gets served and thinking of speaking to the manager in the shop. Bit what's normal??

[intuition]

Bump

[itsBritneyBeach]

I know as worrying as it is, at least he's being honest with you and not coming home sloshed!

The next time you pop into the co op, you could let them know that you've been told people are being served underage. But obviously don't tell him you've done this! I only say this as I remember when I was 15 a few years ago and I could also get served as I was well developed I used to feel pressured to go to the shop for other people that weren't even my friends etc!

He will be fine, he sounds like a sensible lad and you have to remember how thrilling it would have been at 15 for you! I wouldn't have dared tell my parents so it sounds like a great relationship

[Wolfiefan]

What's a few beers? Is he binge drinking? He shouldn't be buying it illegally. Where is he getting the money?

[intuition]

Thank you. I am definitely grateful he talks to me but also need to be his Mum. Good advice though. Thx.

[itsBritneyBeach]

@intuition yes of course! I think telling the shop would be a good start and also having a serious conversation with him and warnings of what can happen and what would happen if he went down a bad path etc.

If you know any of the other mums you could try and talk to them to see if they're aware, but I know it's difficult keeping track of all the friends in the teen years!

[Ellapaella]

As a Mum of a 16 year old son I don't think this is unusual. He's being honest with you which is good. I know my son occasionally has a couple of bottles of beer when he goes to a party, he tells me and is upfront about it. I think I'd have words about the vodka though and explain it's not a great mix with other alcohol and is a lot harder for the liver to process at a young age etc. It's good to have a relationship where your kids can tell you stuff but also like you say they need to know there are boundaries and that you don't want him getting stupidly drunk and making himself ill.

[intuition]

Thank you. I will speak to some friends but it seems there is a lot of dishonesty around alcohol and teenagers. Most of his friends don't talk to their parents and lie about what they do. The parents think they don't drink!

[BillywilliamV]

My neighbours DD is "honest" to het mother about yhe few Krononbergs she has when she is at parties and sleepovers, accorxing to my DD she boasts to her friends about getting off her face!
It is possible he is not entirely open about the full extent of his drinking.. I would not encourage it myself, hes too young!

[Ellapaella]

He is young yes, but you need to be realistic about what teenagers will or won't do. Burying your head in the sand and believing your child won't drink underage simply because you said they are too young to do so is naive. Can you tell the OP what you have done to prevent your teenager/s from having a drink when they are with friends? It would be really helpful if you could share that with us as parenting of teenagers is never easy as I'm sure you can understand. As you say, teenagers are unlikely to be entirely truthful so how do you know that you got it right?

[expatinspain]

Most teenagers start experimenting with alcohol at that age. Many frequently drink too much when they do. Me and my friends were the same and we all turned out ok. I think if it becomes a problem, in that he's missing school drinking or getting absolutely wasted, then it's a problem. Otherwise fairly normal at the age.

[intuition]

Thanks all. Think we will survive!!

[Chocolatecoffeeaddict]

I think it's normal.