Smoking

[Tiggy321]

Hello,

I have found out my 15 yr old son is smoking. Not everyday (I think) but a few times a week. I am horrified. Have thrown away packets of cigarettes I have found, confiscated an E cigarette he was "looking after" for a friend. I have given him the lectures about health, the cost, you name it. I think I tried smoking once or twice at a party at his age (which I told him) but not this regular thing. How can I get through to him? He's not allowed to go out with his friends now after school or this weekend. It really scares me. I so do not want him to become a proper smoker.

[gladisandherpug]

Well that's just ridiculous. He'll want to do it more and resent you if you punish him so much. Just give him the facts and he'll make his own decision- that's all you can do and most 15 year olds I know smoke so maybe just wait for him to grow out of it. At least it wasn't heroin ay!

[Tiggy321]

I think I am right to punish him. I can't condone it and let it pass. I know it's "only" cigarettes for now at least. Just wondered how other parents deal with it?

[NorthernSpirit]

Disgusting habait. You are right to punish him. So narrow minded that he thinks it’s ‘cool’ when actually it’s affecting his health.

My dear dad died of lung cancer caused by smoking. It’s a horrible dease that devastates families.

[WeAllHaveWings]

most 15 year olds I know smoke

IME that is really unusual nowadays, official NHS stats say < 20% of 15 year olds have tried smoking once and much much less smoke regularly (3% boys, 4% girls). Most children who smoke are influenced by smokers at home/family.

ds(14) knows of some children in his year and above who have tried smoking/smoke but none of them are in his close friendship group, same with my niece (15), none of her friendship group smoke.

In ds's school the small groups that are smoking are also drinking in the street, hanging about aimlessly at night vandalising and lighting little fires.

If ds(14) smoked he would know exactly how disappointed I was in him (my dad died of COPD a couple of years ago), access to money would be heavily monitored and I wouldn't let him out with any groups of friends I know are behaving this way. Once he is an adult it is his choice, but as a school child and my responsibility I will parent him appropriately.

[Tiggy321]

I agree with you! It's a really hard one. He knows my thoughts loud and clear but like most things with teens, there's only so much I can do. He takes the bus to/from school so I can't be with him 24 hrs a day. I know his friends and I have to say they are all extremely polite to parents, and nice kids. Not off the rails, not smashing up bus stops, doing ok at school etc. I have stopped easy access to money (he does babysitting so earns his own). I will just keep lecturing and pointing out the perils and how disappointed I am in him for making a bad choice.

[Tiggy321]

Would like to add that both I and husband do not smoke. Husband used to before the kids were born but given up many years ago! So I don't buy the fact that kids are influenced by smokers in the family- no one In even our extended family smoke!

[Moominfan]

I smoked as a teen, absolutely nothing my mum could have said would have changed my mind. Can you remove allowance/money to spend on cigs. Invest in a hobby so their more inclined to want to save for something and have something enjoyable to do

[Tiggy321]

He has hobbies. Plays tennis and is heavily into Belgian scouts (which unlike in Uk is a cool thing to do and all teenage boys do it). No smoking def allowed there!

[Ollivander84]

I smoked from age 12. Finally gave up a 30 a day, 20 year habit with an e cig. Might that be an option? I wish I had done it sooner

[WeAllHaveWings]

So I don't buy the fact that kids are influenced by smokers in the family

^ That's from the official NHS stats as a leading influence, I know part of the reason I wasn't put off smoking when I smoked in the 80's was because my mum and dad smoked, but obviously its not a factor in all cases.

Can his tennis coach or scout leader have a word? Sometimes teenagers listen to adults outside the home more?

[specialsubject]

wheres the dodgy shop selling to children? and where is he getting the large amount of money required, arent they nearly a pound a turd now?