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Intense teenage relationship

(9 Posts)
chazbomb Mon 23-Apr-18 20:16:18

My 18 year old Ds has been with his gf for just over a year and has totally withdrawn from his friends. He lives with us but spends every evening straight from work with his gf eats at her parents every evening except one when they come to us and one when his gf goes out he will eat here or go to see his mum. I’m worried that if they split up he’ll be left high and dry. We’ve spoken to him but he says he’s happy and in love. Her behaviour appears controlling at times, if he doesn’t reply to a text instantly she calls asking what’s going on why haven’t you responded which includes when he goes for a 10 minute shower in the morning his phone constantly pings then starts ringing. His lost contact with one set of friends but still has another set who I see out and about and they’ve not managed to get him to agree to a night out. He didn’t celebrate his 18th as he didn’t want to go out without her as she’s still not 18. Is this normal for an 18 year old relationship?? Advice appreciated

OP’s posts: |
Teenageromance Mon 23-Apr-18 21:38:31

Watching this as I have a teenage dd in an intense relationship - it’s not controlling though but they are just so focused on each other and letting friends go.

GraceLeeper Tue 24-Apr-18 04:11:43

It seems that they are so focused with each other or let's just say with their relationship. Try to talk to your Ds about this and try to encourage him that there is a lot more things to do than just focusing on relationships.

Weezol Tue 24-Apr-18 04:51:00

Is all his washing being done over at her place too? I'm not being flippant in asking, it's a genuine question, I'm trying to think of an 'in' for you to talk to him.

Does he drive? If so is his car insurance valid if, for example, it's insured as parked on your drive in your postcode over night, but it actually parked in the road in a different postcode six nights a week?

Have a look at this link, hopefully it will give you some clues as to what constitutes an emotionally abusive relationship and offers advice :

www.disrespectnobody.co.uk/relationship-abuse/signs-to-spot/

chazbomb Tue 24-Apr-18 08:10:34

He comes home to sleep here most evenings. I do his washing, he makes up lunch for work in the morning then he goes to work and the same cycle continues. We’ve spoken to him about keeping in touch with friends but at the moment we’ve seen no change.

OP’s posts: |
Weezol Tue 24-Apr-18 14:16:06

Did the link help you figure out if she is is acting in an emotionally abusive way?

From your OP, there are some red flags for thinking this.

If he was spending this amount of time out of the house with mates, would you be as concerned?

Scaredformyson Tue 24-Apr-18 16:14:18

My 18 yr old son is in a relationship with an 18 yr old girl with mental health issues. There have been lots of troubling things that gave happened such as numerous suicide attempts and her assaulting him. He stays with her at her parents all the time. Never comes home. Rarely contacts me. She is controlling and he rarely sees friends or family but he doesgo to his apprenticeship. I have stopped trying to get him to come home and as much as it kills me I'm letting him get in with it. He doesn't speak to his step dad at all when he's at home. It so hard

Nb65988 Sat 26-May-18 17:12:02

Why are they so wrapped up in each other that u lose ure friends he didn't celebrate his 18 cause she could not go shr would have been allowed in certain pubs just not able even so she could have got a life that nyt and let him go out and why would u want to go to gd parents house and eat dinner every nyt I find this relationship fucked up there loosing friends he's barely home and when he is hes got to txt het the 2 of them are to dependant on each other he will end up with no friends they will have a baby nexy

Confusedbutheyho Sat 09-May-20 15:18:18

What happened in the end with this? How long did they last?

Interested as DS in similar situation.

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