My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

17 year old - international travel (solo)

15 replies

GoldenMcOldie · 18/04/2018 06:47

Looking for some opinions. This is long as I don't want to dripfeed.

DS1 is 17 (just) and is well travelled. He has travelled with us extensively and has also travelled overseas on his own (separate trips of 2 + weeks to India and China with school) and done one solo trip to Europe (we are in Australia) last December.

During this last trip - a 4 week residential visit to a Language School (he is preparing to go to University in Europe at the end of this year), he met a lovely girl who is also studying language. She is from Russia.

DS is a sensible, mature young man who generally doesn't make foolhardy decisions. He is very driven on his chosen path (to study for a specialist degree in a European university). To achieve this he has attended Saturday school here in Australia to become proficient in the language etc.

He is absolutely in love with this young lady and by all accounts it works both ways. They write each other handwritten letters, they talk all the time and will likely continue a relationship at the end of this year when they both go to Uni in Europe.

The thing is, this girl's family have asked him to visit. He would be flying to Russia on his own and staying with her family for two weeks.

On the one hand, he is a wonderful responsible boy. He works hard and has, in addition to all of his school and extra language school commitments found a part time job to fund the trip. My gut instinct is to support him, to get to know this young lady and her family (by Skype etc) and to let him go on the two week trip to see her in the middle of the year. He tells me that the prospect of not seeing her before December is unbearable...

On the other hand, there is a part of me that thinks I am mad to even consider it.

WWYD?

PS - although probably not material, DS is 6ft5 and very capable of physically looking after himself (he cooks, cleans washes etc).

OP posts:
Report
frenchfancy · 18/04/2018 06:51

He will be staying with a family rather than on his own so I would support him. I think it will be a fabulous experience. (But make sure he packs condoms! )

Report
GoldenMcOldie · 18/04/2018 06:59

Thanks French. Nice to know I am not nuts for considering it.

He is still my baby.... but in reality I know letting go is imminent.

OP posts:
Report
Caulk · 18/04/2018 07:05

I would let him.
However, I would check that her family are happy with it. IME 17yr olds can something say “they’re fine with it” when in practice they haven’t checked.

Report
MrsTylerJoseph · 18/04/2018 07:07

He'll be fine. My 17yo is off to Beijing on her own this summer and not even staying with a family but in uni halls. She did it last year and was fine. Russia just seems so far away, if it was France you wouldn't worry but really it's no different

Report
MrsTylerJoseph · 18/04/2018 07:09

Sorry, forgot you're in Aus....if it was Nz you wouldn't worry? France is probably further.

Report
Oblomov18 · 18/04/2018 07:11

Having visited Russia many times, but not for some time admittedly, I can not see the problem.
Do you have any idea how well he will be looked after? Grin He will be treated like a Prince, I assure you.
You follow the rules, only go to certain parts of town at certain times, for safety reasons.
Staying with a family, a Russian bab-ush-ka (soviet grandmother) will be fab!! Grin

Report
Oblomov18 · 18/04/2018 07:12

Whereabouts is he going?
Envy

Report
SD1978 · 18/04/2018 07:13

He should go. I understand wanting to meet the family over Skype, but the reality is in a few months he will be permanently in Europe at uni anyway. To say no to this trip seems a bit silly IMO. He will be needing to be much more independent than this trip come December.

Report
Noboozeforme · 18/04/2018 07:13

I would let my son go.
Though I think i would want to skype with the family first if you havent already.

My sister was much more of the adventerious one than i was at that age and she travelled across Europe with a boyfriend for six weeks aged 16.

To be honest, only you know your son but either way he's almost an adult.

Who's paying for the trip ?

Report
londonloves · 18/04/2018 07:23

Aaaaah sounds so sweet and he sounds like an awesome young man. I think you should let him go. Have the contraception chat though! And yes, check in with his parents (and have a plan to get him home early if it all goes sour - prepaid emergency credit card for flight home or something).

Report
ElsieMay123 · 18/04/2018 07:34

From a practical point of view it might be worth checking the legal status of a 17 year old in Russia. Worst case scenario, if anything legal or medical happened would he need adult support or can he make his own decisions (legally I mean, I'm sure he's capable). Can the girl's family be nominated 'in loco parentis' as teachers are on a school trip, with maybe a letter that says that?

Report
Personwithhorse · 18/04/2018 07:48

Travel insurance - I would imagine you would need a private hospital in Russian if he had an accident

Report
LadyPenelopeCantDance · 18/04/2018 07:53

I would let him go based on what you have told us. He will more than likely need a visa too, so factor this in to the timing.

Report
GoldenMcOldie · 18/04/2018 07:55

Ahh so much food for thought. Thank you all.

I have said that until her Mum and I have met (on Skype) and chatted to agree a plan it's not going ahead.

He is paying himself.

He will be staying with her family in their home in Moscow.

I have checked the Australian government smart traveller website to check on any concerns relating to safety and security. All the obvious warnings in place. As a 17 year old he isn't a minor. The family have to extend a written offer of invitation for the visa.

A great idea re. Emergency visa card.

I know in my heart he is ready. Perhaps I have a little way to go thoughSmile

OP posts:
Report
londonloves · 01/05/2018 18:17

What happened OP? Is he going?

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.