Friendship Groups

[teenangstforme]

Hello, does anyone have experience of their teens jumping from one friendship group to another?

My DS13 will be moving into 3rd year after summer. He has such a wide range of friends since starting high school, which initially I was really happy about. But lately he seems to have fallen away from the ones he was friendly with from primary, and is friendly with some boys who by all accounts seem nice kids, but I don’t know them.

I asked him tonight about the “old” friends and he said he doesn’t like hanging about with them anymore. This has made feel anxious and I don’t know why. They have always been there or thereabouts even when he’s been hanging out with others here and there, and it makes me sad to think he might be alienating himself from that group. He doesn’t even speak to them on his x box now.

I know he has to find his own way. Just wondering if this is normal. He assured me there’s no fallout or anything, but he never gives much away about that kind of thing so I can’t be sure.

Just wondered when your kids settled into their friendship groups, of at all!

I know this is quite a stupid thread, he has friends, what’s the problem? I just worry he’s going to shoot himself in the foot by ditching people when he thinks someone better has some along.

[AjasLipstick]

This is about you OP not him. You're resisting change and your DS growing up.

When they are in primary school, it's so easy because you can see their friends and meet the parents...then it's all out of your hands and they're meeting and hanging out with children who you've no idea of.

But that's normal and healthy.

He's not jumping from friendship groups...he's making new friends. Which they mostly all do...that's what people WANT their children to do in high school.

Of course it would be nice for them to retain their old mates...but many don't.

He's not going to shoot himself in the foot. It sounds like he's got good social skills and will be fine.

When my DD aged 13 first went to high school I was scared she wouldn't make friends...not that she would!

[GreenTulips]

Many just want to move on and away from 'the old them' they don't need reminding of their sports failures or stupid talent show entry or anything in between

They want friends who see them as how they are now and can be who ever they want

Be glad he's making friendship choices

[Idontmeanto]

My teens are girls. The eldest’s closest friends from junior school drifted away. (Given that many of them became the kids who smoke cannabis and hang out around town long after dark, i’m not complaining!) she settled into her friendship group around year 9.
Dd 2 has kept her good friends from junior school, but the group has expanded to include others.

I think your son is entirely normal. Get them all over for pizza and a movie if you feel you need to get to know them.

[Doryismyname]

I have experienced similar OP and I would say that as long as your DS is happy and not in with a bad crowd you should trust his judgement.

It could be that his nice friends from primary are not as nice or as good friends as they seem. Maybe meeting new friends has made him realise this.