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14-year old daughter caught stealing - help, please!

(6 Posts)
AngelaBrighton44 Tue 03-Apr-18 16:03:26

My 14 year old daughter was caught shoplifting yesterday but police wasn't involved because it was low value. Although she knows it's wrong she's been doing it regularly for a while and is fairly unrepentant. I'm worried that she may drift into the wrong direction, in particular because in her friendship group stealing appears to not be seen as something too bad (most of them do it, apparently!) and parents don't seem to punish their kids for it like I do.

I'm feeling quite helpless because what I say only goes so far so I was wondering if anyone knows about a service or charity that could work with her (and us) to get her off that path, so that we can avoid ending up with police and social services. We live in Brighton.

OP’s posts: |
Idontmeanto Tue 03-Apr-18 16:41:45

She needs to change her friendship group then, and you will need to be very strong to make sure that happens. Let school know so they can be keeping an eye too.
She’s grounded, then when school starts she can participate in an organised, appropriate activity that you can escort her too/from e.g. sports club, cadets, senior section of guides. Remove internet access so you can heavily restrict contact with these friends.
If she’s caught again consider asking for police involvement so she has access to services from their end.

Idontmeanto Tue 03-Apr-18 16:43:54

Of course, what she’s telling you about her friends/their parents could well be nonsense and they are horrified too!

SomeRandomBird Tue 03-Apr-18 16:51:53

You could contact CAHMS for advice -they may help with any underlying mental health problems.

https://youngminds.org.uk/find-help/your-guide-to-support/guide-to-camhs/

I also live in Brighton - could she be persuaded into more wholesome activities such as the beach volleyball? It could help her form new friendships.

AngelaBrighton44 Tue 03-Apr-18 17:52:33

My experience is that it backfires banning a teenager from seeing their friends as you don't control their movements anymore. I tried getting her into an activity but nothing goes without her friends. It's that phase where friends dominate everything. She's got to come to the conclusion herself that the friendship group is not all that good...

OP’s posts: |
AngelaBrighton44 Tue 03-Apr-18 17:55:03

Re mental health problems, I don't think she has any serious ones. She's been talking to the counsellor in school once in a while but generally manages herself fairly well and is very articulate about her emotional state.
Maybe an organisation with youth workers that could do some mentoring might help. Any ideas?

OP’s posts: |

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