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Teenage son and a box of condoms!

(25 Posts)
Hooplah Fri 30-Mar-18 13:31:00

When tidying up my 15 year old DS's pit of a bedroom this week, I came across a half empty box of condoms. This morning I have found a bottle of massage gel. As far as I'm aware, he is not seeing anyone and I'm fairly sure this is a bit of a 'discovery' adventure! I'm not prudish and I totally understand but I would really like him to talk to me about it. I've not told him that I've found these things although, to be honest, he hasn't 'hidden' them very well! How can I broach the subject without him being totally mortified, or shall I just stay quiet which is my husband's approach? What have other mums done in this situation?

OP’s posts: |
Wingbing Fri 30-Mar-18 13:31:28

Stay quiet

Twodogsandahooch Fri 30-Mar-18 13:32:22

Oh goodness please don’t approach him. No need to whatsoever.

Bobbiepin Fri 30-Mar-18 13:36:04

Is it possible that he's left them so poorly hidden because he wants you to broach the subject?

Otherwise, be glad he's using condoms! Maybe a little "I found your box and want you to know I'm pleased you're being safe although I think you should be waiting until the girl is at least 16. But I want you to know that you can ask me anything if you want to".

Or he could be having a posh wank and be thankful he isn't wiping it on his socks like most 15 year olds do grin

YourHandInMyHand Fri 30-Mar-18 13:37:01

Good god, please do not approach him. He hasn't decided to approach you and talk about masturbation, follow his lead and give the poor lad some privacy! I have a teenage son and he'd rather die than talk to me about that sort of thing, despite us having an otherwise very close and open to talk about anything relationship. And I'm happy with that, let there be some boundaries.

joystir59 Fri 30-Mar-18 13:42:38

Leave him alone. He's heading toward adulthood and his private sex life is not your concern

FrangipaniBlue Fri 30-Mar-18 13:47:21

I'm pleased you're being safe although I think you should be waiting until the girl is at least 16

Eh?! Bit sexist (and presumptuous!) when OPs son isn't 16 yet either confused

Say nowt OP.

HollowTalk Fri 30-Mar-18 13:47:45

I think we can assure you that the LAST THING he wants is for you to discuss this with him!

Hooplah Fri 30-Mar-18 13:55:01

Lol, message received and understood!

I was kind of thinking no discussion is the right approach but, if he's having a relationship, HE is underage, and this is mainly the message I wanted to stress...plus, I hate it when my husband's right!!

OP’s posts: |
AnotherOriginalUsername Sat 31-Mar-18 08:43:16

The only thing I'd be concerned about is whether the massage gel is oil based and he's using it as a lubricant...

Jaxtellerswife Sat 31-Mar-18 12:25:12

I'd be concerned if any underage child was potentially having sex. Unusual answers here

AdoraBell Sat 31-Mar-18 12:28:57

Agree, don’t approach him about this. If he approaches you then just be a open as you can. Does he talk to you, or his dad, about sex?

I have 2 teen DDs who will talk quite openly, but only they initiate the conversation.

AdoraBell Sat 31-Mar-18 12:30:31

Oops, that should be only if they initiate the conversation.

scrabbler3 Sat 31-Mar-18 12:34:32

If you're 100% sure he's not having sex, then stay quiet. If there's a possibility that he has a girlfriend or boyfriend, or is having casual sex with someone, then it'd be advisable for your or DH to have a chat about consent/safety/the law I think.

Northernparent68 Sun 01-Apr-18 23:54:17

Stop shopping in his room.

RedPandaMama Sun 01-Apr-18 23:57:19

Subtly hint you're there for him if he 'needs any advice' but don't ask him about the condoms, he'll be mortified! Just be glad he's being safe, if he is even having sex. When I was sixteen we got condoms quite literally thrown at us in college. I had a drawer full. Wasnt having sex at the time, but good to know I had them if I needed. Also opened a few, messed with them a bit so they were less daunting when it came to the actual act.

DorynownotFloundering Sun 01-Apr-18 23:58:01

He's masturbating not having sex, by the sounds of it, leave him to get on with it & as pp have said just be thankful for no crusty sheets envyconfused

Springtrolls Mon 02-Apr-18 00:09:49

Why are you still tidying his room?

lattewith3shotsplease Mon 02-Apr-18 00:20:43

Teenage boys are a bit crap at hiding stuff.

My DS15 left a "magazine" in the dirty wash basket.grin

Look on the bright side, at least he knows what a condom is and how to wear one.smile

GrooovyLass Mon 02-Apr-18 00:21:19

Reported this - there are a suspicious amount of posts about teenage boys and condoms this weekend...

Oddcat Mon 02-Apr-18 00:24:56

Don't t ask him about them - poor lad would be mortified!

Petitepamplemousse Mon 02-Apr-18 00:27:05

Oh FGS of course stay quiet, leave the poor lad alone.

PickAChew Mon 02-Apr-18 00:27:30

Be glad he's using condoms and impress on him the need to be super clean and idy do you don't feel compelled to look.

Idontmeanto Mon 02-Apr-18 11:06:56

He needs to keep his own room clean and tidy then you won’t find these things. I think you should say something, check he’s being safe, aware of consent, that if a pregnancy did occur he has no say in how the young lady proceeds, the poster that mentioned the posssbility of oil in the massage solution is talking sense.

Squeegle Mon 02-Apr-18 11:14:30

Maybe it’s something your husband should chat with him about. Not necessarily the condoms but just sex in general and about respect for girls etc. In the right context a cringey but necessary talk

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