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16/17 year olds going to a nightclub

(34 Posts)
cardy1969 Tue 06-Mar-18 11:45:51

My dd and her friends are doing their A level mocks this week (lower 6th). DD's friends are planning to go to a club in our local city about 5 miles away on Friday night to celebrate them being over. DD is 16 but most of her friends are 17. Understandably DD wants to go with them. They will go to a friends first for 'prinks' then to the club about 11pm. They are not sure what time they will leave but the club closes at 4am!!

I am really reluctant to let her go but don't want her to feel left out by being the only one of 10 who isn't allowed to go. She's been honest with us and told us all the details she knows so far - which club, how they will get there and get home, who is going etc.

She said some of her friend's parents are letting them go (they have older siblings) and some are lying to their parents and staying at friends houses. She said they will have a few drinks before they go out but not much as they don't want to appear drunk and not be allowed in. They can't really afford to buy many drinks in the club. They will need to borrow IDs from friends in upper 6th in case they are asked their age shock

I used to go to clubs at 16/17 in the days before ID were necessary so feel a bit of a hypocrite not letting her go plus and she'll be off to Uni in 18 months so will need have the independence and experience to look after herself. I'll just worry so much. She went to Leeds Festival last year after her GCSEs finished....and survived without me breathing down her neck.

Please tell me your experiences.

OP’s posts: |
Xineop Tue 06-Mar-18 11:47:44

The people on the door aren't stupid and I doubt they'd get in tbh, they're all underage and they'll all have Id that doesn't look like them

BigGreenOlives Tue 06-Mar-18 11:49:50

She’ll probably have her friend’s fake ID confiscated.

mintich Tue 06-Mar-18 11:50:42

I did the same but celebrating my gcses lol! This was in the late 90s. Are her friends sensible and is she sensible? As she is being very open about it, I would just make sure you give her the drinks for pre drinks (thats what my parents did so they knew they weren't too strong) and make sure she knows she can call you if she needs to come home, also making sure she gets a taxi with friends

popcorntime Tue 06-Mar-18 11:50:47

A lot of clubs now scan your fingerprint when taking your ID, so if they people who the ID belongs to have been to that club before the fingerprints won't match up. The club would likely confiscate the ID...

I don't know where you're located but I would be very surprised if there are many (if any) clubs in England left where this would work...

mintich Tue 06-Mar-18 11:52:15

I do agree with posters above though...they only accept photo ids so they may get rumbled anyway. In my day they were a lot more lenient!

Xineop Tue 06-Mar-18 11:52:33

The chances of a group of 16 and 17 year olds getting into a club are ridiculously low

cardy1969 Tue 06-Mar-18 12:00:19

I was hoping that would be case and they wouldn't get in but some of her friends have been a few times before and there hasn't been a problem.

It also a club that lots of students from her college go to regularly and seems to get in with no problem. We live in a major city and there are 100s of clubs. I think this one has been chosen as it's well known among the 6th formers.

OP’s posts: |
Buglife Tue 06-Mar-18 12:03:04

Gosh I was going out to city bars and clubs when I was 17. Drinking in local pubs at 16 (very lax town!) it seems mad to me now as a 35 yer old mother, we got ourselves in some states really and in hindsite were quite vulnerable. I don’t have daughters but I’d feel so reluctant to allow a child the same leeway today! I think the culture has changed and as PP say they might not get in. A mass of obviously underage girls will be noticeable. We used to go with a big group, girls and boys and go in smaller groups/couples. I think I’d be happy with them having a few drinks at a sleepover/house party. Is the club amongst bars in a town centre?

Buglife Tue 06-Mar-18 12:05:17

I guess If the plan is to go to this one club and then taxi home, that is safer than them planning on a bar crawl and getting from one to the other when drunk. And you’d hope they’d look out for each other.

brieandcrackers Tue 06-Mar-18 12:07:01

Make sure she has a way of getting home if she's the only one who gets rumbled and her friends don't want to leave.

Neighbour's daughter had this happen and didn't want to call home at risk of a bollocking so walked 40 mins back at midnight on her own!! She was fine but obviously not ideal for a 16 year old to be wandering the streets alone, especially if she's had a few drinks.

BBQsAreSooooOverrated Tue 06-Mar-18 12:12:30

I remember going out with most of my year at school at a similar age after our GCSE certificate presentation evening. There were a handful of girls that didn't get in but most of us did. I was allowed to go on the condition that one of my friends parents collected us from outside the club so no wondering about in the streets or waiting for a taxi.

cardy1969 Tue 06-Mar-18 12:16:38

Yes, its in the centre of a major city so lots of other bars and clubs.

The plan is to go straight there in a taxi and get a taxi home. They have agreed that they won't leave each other and she knows that me or DH will pick her up whatever time if necessary. We've talked about drugs, drinks being spiked etc. I work at the local Uni so I hear all about the latest student antics.

Their plan is to get into the queue in small groups of 3 or 4 so they are not just one big group....it's all very well thought through. I suspect this night out has been the focus of their thoughts and not the mocks!

I know all her friends (some since they were 4 yo) and they seem very sensible. They go to parties every few weeks and DD take a couple of fruit ciders with her. I am kind of known for being the strict parent though.

OP’s posts: |
sunshinestorm Tue 06-Mar-18 12:16:59

I'm 25 and still get asked for ID 99% of the time when going out to pubs/bars. A couple of years ago a pub in my town had to close down as it kept letting underage people in. It's so much harder nowadays than it was in previous decades to go underage clubbing, so there is a good chance they won't be able to get in surely?
Also using borrowed ID is unlikely to work and would be confiscated, don't know why anybody would lend their ID to a younger person. I'd imagine you could get in trouble for this too?
It's great your DD is open and honest with you, that indicates she's quite sensible. Where is she staying afterwards?

strawberrysparkle Tue 06-Mar-18 12:22:09

To be fair I doubt she will get in. I've struggled to get in with my own legit ID in my twenties! The people on the door are very strict:

Cotswoldmama Tue 06-Mar-18 12:25:29

I remember going out every Friday and Saturday when I was 17! I would let her go but maybe give her some conditions ie texts you at a specific time and make sure she knows she can call or text you anytime if she's worried about anything or if she or one of her friends drinks too much!

ReinettePompadour Tue 06-Mar-18 12:45:49

her friends have been a few times before

I wouldnt think that was the case. When I was 17 I worked in a very popular nightclub glass collecting and working the cloakroom.

I used to sit in class at school and listen to groups of girls brag about going to this nightclub and how they had been dozens of times. No one knew I worked there and I knew these girls had never set foot in the place. They used to tell me about all the drinks they bought, all the fights they saw none the security were very hot on clamping down on fights and drunks , what music was played and how the place looked inside, including secret areas they had been to. They were wrong about everything because they had never been. hmm

You can let her go, she wont get in. Their licence is very strict, they will not let anyone underage in, anyone who is acting drunk and they will check ID. Even more so this time of year because they know mocks are done and students will be looking to celebrate.

bigTillyMint Tue 06-Mar-18 13:17:39

If she has proper id (as in a real provisional) - most clubs have scanners - and looks sufficiently like the person she borrowed it from, she may get in. But she could get caught out if the bouncers ask her a question and she gives the wrong answer. My DD never got stopped, but others did.
It was all much easier in my day when ID was never asked for and bouncers turned a blind eye!

cardy1969 Tue 06-Mar-18 14:26:15

In many ways I hope she doesn't get allowed in as it may stop this desire to go but I don't want her or her friends stranded in the city centre with nowhere to go either. I'd rather they were inside somewhere.

Reinette, her friends have been a number of times I've seen the snapchat evidence. DD sat at home feeling sorry for herself because she wasn't there (didn't have an ID and I said she couldn't go) so she kept showing my their Snapchat stories.

The ID she has is an older friend's provisional driving licence (just 18) who does look like her (same shape face, hair style etc). I don't under estimate how much effort and research the girls put into this. It's a big deal, for some reason.

Cotswoldmama, I agree. We've already had a good chat about her snapchatting me....I like snapchat as I can see where she is wink

Like I said, when I was 17 it was easy - I'd go most weekends to a club but then I worked and had the money to go out.

OP’s posts: |
BoredOnMatLeave Tue 06-Mar-18 14:34:01

I'd let her go but make sure she has a plan to get home if she can't get in but all her friends can and ditch her.

19lottie82 Tue 06-Mar-18 16:49:51

I’d put money on her not getting in (unless she looks really REALLY old for her age!). Licenced venues are a lot stricter than they were back in the 90s.

Most places operate a policy where if you look under 25, you’ll be ID’d.

I’m 36 and I got ID’d a couple of months ago grin

bigTillyMint Tue 06-Mar-18 18:36:59

Based on my DD and friends experience in zone 2 London, I think she will get in, but she needs to be certain her friends will stick by her if she doesn't get in and vice versa

lljkk Tue 06-Mar-18 19:39:12

17yo DS went clubbing last year with a friend's borrowed ID (oop north city). The funniest part is DS is 6'1", blue-eyed and fair skinned; friend is a short skinny middle eastern looking guy.

Just on his own not as part of a large group, though.

specialsubject Tue 06-Mar-18 19:46:17

Had to look up 'prinks' - cheap swills at home to get pissed before going out to get really pissed.

So sweet that they think the club don't know it is end of exams and that kids will borrow ID. Why not just get plastered at friends house?

Ginger1982 Tue 06-Mar-18 19:48:46

Most places probably adopt the challenge 21 scheme, so if you look under 21 you have to prove you're over 18.

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