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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

I’ve taken the Xbox away. Any one else tempted?

21 replies

mumma24 · 22/02/2018 07:07

So my sons 14 and addicted to xbox. Apparently there’s nothing else to do! I noticed it was really affecting his mood and I was fed up with his attitude so we taken away.

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Stumbleine · 22/02/2018 07:12

There have been a couple of Xbox threads on here recently. They tend to get quite heated. There are those who are having huge problems with their dc turning into monsters, who wish they'd never bought one. And those who are believe gaming is a perfectly healthy hobby which doesn't affect children negatively.

I fall into the former camp. We have had terrible issues with my 11 yr old ds and behaviour surrounding the Xbox lately. I have never seen such (frankly worrying) aggressive behaviour from him. I haven't been brave enough to get rid completely, but we have restricted to weekends only.

SouthWestmom · 22/02/2018 07:14

Wish I had. My 15 year old literally spends sall his time after school on it. Aggressive and rude (ASD) crap at school etc.

Leilaniiii · 22/02/2018 07:17

Yes! Ours is on a temporary ban. He will get it back once he behaves and stops being so aggressive. In reality, he will probably get it back next week as he's been good lately.

But even when he does get it back, he has to do a list of 'jobs' first (homework, dirty clothes in hamper, etc) before he can go on it. And then only in 'Chill Out Time', which is 7.30 - 9pm.

He had a play date with his teenage friend at the weekend. This boy has NO XBOX or console of any kind. But he's the nicest, most well-adjusted and grateful child I've ever met. I'm not saying there's a direct correlation, but it did make me feel like a terrible parent, by comparison.

dkb15164 · 22/02/2018 07:22

They're definitely addicting like most things in life. My mum used to have to hide my brother's PlayStation in her car boot when he was grounded as my brother was so adamant that he would find it and play it as soon as she left the house. He's not very well adjusted to society and very passive aggressive as an adult (again, might be a coincidence) so I guess it's a good thing my little brother and I never got a shot on it.

murphys · 22/02/2018 07:31

I have been known, on occasion to lose my rag somewhat, but I didn't remove the whole console, just the remotes

But our biggest problem was WOW some years back when ds was about 13 or so. The change in him was awful. He was completely addicted, not just into the game, but ADDICTED. In the past, quite an academic child, to the feigning illnesses to stay home and game ALL DAY. So that was shortlived and yes, there I removed the whole PC. He is a bit older now (18) so he knows he can only use xbox at weekends (as doing heavy school year this year).

But that change is them is horrific to see.

falang · 22/02/2018 07:39

X box removal is an excellent and effective sanction in my experience of working with families. Was always exasperated by those who said they were unwilling to do it or stick to it though. Phone removal works best for girls.

pilates · 22/02/2018 07:53

Yes we do it frequently with bad behaviour. At the moment we are on a permanent two day break per week where he doesn’t go on it at all. Have noticed an improvement in behaviour.

SouthWestmom · 22/02/2018 07:54

Ok I'm trying a two day perma ban.

nutterbutterMcGee · 22/02/2018 08:00

In order to maintain homework schedules, we have decided on a ban on a Tuesday and a Wednesday. Although whilst I write he is sat glued to YouTube watching re-runs of the same bloody games.....

Stumbleine · 22/02/2018 08:07

See, I really don't feel comfortable using Xbox time as a weapon or punishment. I feel that, like most punishments, it is rather effective at producing an instantaneous and temporary change in behaviour, but ultimately the problem arises again. And so it becomes a vicious cycle. I also think It's kind of cruel. In that the child/teen IS displaying addictive behaviour and we as parents are 'pulling the strings' here. I think there needs to be a deeper look at why this activity is encouraging such issues.

That said, I clearly don't have all the answers or else wouldn't be in this position.

christmaswreaths · 22/02/2018 08:15

We have had to ban Monday to Thursday, otherwise homework would not get done and also no time for normal family things such as help with chores, talk about the day, do some reading, relaxing.

It works well as Friday night they have a go, then Saturday and Sunday they have sports, family trips and friends so Xbox use is diluted.

Whenever we strayed from this routine we have always regretted it!!

hiddenmnetter · 22/02/2018 08:25

WOW is properly addictive. Destroyed my uni degree for about 4 years. Would play easily 14+ hours/day. I remember when it first came out (when I started playing) and there were articles about people dying from it (playing 20-30 hours straight on energy drinks and then having heart attacks etc.). Games are addictive. Gotta be careful. Some people seem to be able to avoid it, others seem to just go down the black hole...

SouthWestmom · 22/02/2018 08:30

I think I agree about punishment for my da as he is so addicted. I'm going to try weds and thurs with no x box.

murphys · 22/02/2018 08:33

Hidden

Yes it is, I had gone to my local pc shop to buy something, ds had come with me. Just in passing discussion of WOW came out, the chap working there said to my ds to stop playing, that day. He got so addicted that his wife left him, he came home one day and she was gone with the kids. He admitted that he came in from work, ate in front of pc, didn't communicate with family at all, he didn't even sleep most nights as he was playing. Unfortunately they never reconciled, I saw him not that long ago, said was the biggest mistake of his life, but he knows he was properly addicted. Cost him everything. That day I took it serious and took the pc away from ds. My brother got ds hooked on WOW, they played together, so I had to try to get him to back off from it too, he still plays every now and then, but he was also quite hooked in.

diodati · 22/02/2018 08:48

No, not tempted. There are too many other teenage "battles" - alcohol, pot, porn, parties, mood-swings, homework, dating, vaping, etc - to wage that are far more worrying, IMO. As long as homework and chores are done, I don't have a problem with my DC gaming (moderately) or "binging" (moderately) on Netflix.

taekwondo · 22/02/2018 09:04

Ds is 6 and we've already removed it. Hate the thing

NorthernSpirit · 22/02/2018 10:16

These games are an addiction. You’re the parent, you should say what goes

Personally I limit screen time as I fear kids are looking using the ability to socialise and communicate.

This is worth a read:

www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/05/amount-time-video-games-kids_n_5651027.html

cacoa · 28/02/2018 17:18

I have had endless battles with my son (16yrs) about xbox usage. He thinks it is fair to play it daily and on weekends and school holidays until late hours. At night his microphone use was disturbing my sleep, until i introduced a 10pm curfew for noise. If his behavior is bad i hide his controller for 1-2 days. He used to retaliate and rebel over any fair use policy for gaming and ended up in heated battles. Had professional help over it especially when 2 years ago after almost every school holiday he complained of being so tired (from gaming) to attend school, he would make up some excuse to have another week off. He now stopped doing this as i refused to phone up for any illness which i felt were not genuine and the school said they would visit him at home if done again!!
Now i just given in controlling his gaming use, as long as he does not disturb my sleep time, i just got on with my life. Yes its sad and i am sure other parents here will condemn my approach, but now there are fewer arguments and I can have some health and life back.

orangesticker · 02/03/2018 07:16

I would remove it if it affected his behaviour but it doesn't and he isn't addicted, he will do other stuff. That's not to say I don't believe the X box is a harmless toy - I've had similar problems with tv programmes causing bad attitudes when they were younger - I cancelled sky!

I'm more concerned with Netflix binging atm!

SoundofSilence · 02/03/2018 07:37

I hate my son's x-box and regret it ever entering the house (he saved up birthday money for ages to buy it). It has changed him in a way the family Wii didn't and he admits he feels addicted. But, he goes to school out of area and its the main way he spends time with friends.

After disappointing GCSE mock results we agreed that he would voluntarily give up the power supply Monday to Friday in exchange for a spotify subscription. That seems to have improved things. He's actually happier, although he still begged for it back for the snow day yesterday.

orangesticker · 02/03/2018 08:05

My inlaws told me I cruel and over controlling for not letting ds (14) have an xbox in his bedroom.

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