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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

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Parenting teenagers has its ups and downs. Get advice from Mumsnetters here.

Teenagers

Ds wants to go on holiday with his boyfriend

100 replies

Thepurpleonee · 16/02/2018 10:04

Hi my son is 14 and is openly gay. He has asked me if he can go on holiday for a couple of nights next week with his boyfrend who is 16. His boyfriends parents will also be there.
I don't know weather to say yes or no though what should I do ?????

OP posts:

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BeingATwatItsABingThing · 16/02/2018 10:05

What would be your reason for saying no?

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Snowydaysarehere · 16/02/2018 10:06

At 14 I would say no. He is under age. My ds isn't allowed under age girls so same would apply for a bf in out house /holiday.

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Callamia · 16/02/2018 10:09

Have you talked to the other boy’s parents? If you think they are reasonable people, then I think I’d be ok with it.

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TinklyLittleLaugh · 16/02/2018 10:12

I think 14 is too young for sex so for me it would depend on measures being put in place to reduce the liklehood of that happening.

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zzzzz · 16/02/2018 10:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

athingthateveryoneneeds · 16/02/2018 10:14

Too young.

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Thepurpleonee · 16/02/2018 10:15

I know the other parents but I haven't spoke to them about the holiday yet my ds only asked me last night

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Dairymilkmuncher · 16/02/2018 10:17

Too young to go away with boyfriends/girlfriends IMO

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PositiveVibes18 · 16/02/2018 10:23

Why are you allowing your son to date a 16 year old? They have sex it's still statutory rape.

So no I wouldn't allow my son to go on holiday with his 16 year old boyfriend.

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Thepurpleonee · 16/02/2018 10:25

I thought it was 18 ?? I don't mind that my son is going out with someone 2 years older as long as he is happy which he is.

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DancesWithOtters · 16/02/2018 10:29

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italiancortado · 16/02/2018 10:31

How bizarre that everyone straight away thinks about sex. Is that only a consideration when teens go on holiday?

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Elementally · 16/02/2018 10:37

I think I'd let him go. Who honestly cares if they're having sex. Lots of boys that age engage in sexual activity with each other even if they're not gay.

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PattiStanger · 16/02/2018 10:39

Are you in the UK? I thought statutory rape only applied in the US

I wouldn't be happy about my 14 year old going on holiday with a 16 year old bf or gf, regardless of the sex aspect it feels too young to be going away in that situation

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Thepurpleonee · 16/02/2018 10:40

Me and my oldest dd 22 have had the sex talk with my ds and I told him to make sure his boyfriend is wearing a condom if they do it. but I don't think Either of them have thought about it

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Adviceplease360 · 16/02/2018 10:41

Absolutely not.

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hairycoo · 16/02/2018 10:42

Id let him go. Legally it may be statutory rape but given the age difference of 2 years the policy wouldnt be interested and morally/ethically id be fine with it. Personally i dont think 14 is too young for sex, (within healthy parameters) that was about the age most of my friends started having sex.

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BeingATwatItsABingThing · 16/02/2018 10:43

make sure his boyfriend is wearing a condom if they do it.

I’m assuming you told him to wear one too.

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Hoppinggreen · 16/02/2018 10:44

I wouldn’t let my son or daughter go on holiday with a boyfriend/girlfriend until 16

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NorthernSpirit · 16/02/2018 10:48

Absolutely not. The boy is 14 years old.

You’ve ‘had the talk and as long as his BF is wearing a condom’ it’s ok? How would you feel if that was your 14 year old daughter? 14 is too young to be having sex. That’s why there are laws in place - to protect children who are emotionally immature at that age.

IF they are having sex then his 16 BF is committing an offence. Your son (and it would be the same if it was a heterosexual relationship) legally has to be 16.

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/4hPrqzTRSBvvzHkTckNYNZ5/age-of-consent

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celeryeater · 16/02/2018 10:50

I think it's fine. I went on holiday with friends and their parents at that age and don't think this is much different. If they are going to have sex they will do it regardless of whether you let them go away together or not. The other boys parents will be there so as long as you think they are OK and trust them I can't see an issue.

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GeorgeTheHippo · 16/02/2018 10:51

I wouldn't let my child go away with a partner at 14. Too much too soon.

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SuburbanRhonda · 16/02/2018 10:53

They have sex it's still statutory rape.

There is no such crime in the UK.

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upsideup · 16/02/2018 10:53

I'm pretty sure in the Uk for it to be considered statutory rape, providing the 'child' is 13+ the perpetrator has to be 18+. No one would be interested in a 14 y/o and 16 y/o.
I would say yes I think, depending on how well I knew the boyfriend and their family.

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mrsBeverleyGoldberg · 16/02/2018 10:54

I didn't think boys had an age limit for sex except up the bum. I think you have to be 21? I'd want to know sleeping arrangements and supervision. 14 is still quite young.