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Teenage boot camp?(4 Posts)
We have a DS of 15, dyslexic, ADHD and has dyscalculia. He is struggling hugely at school for these, and a number of other reasons. He came home yesterday with dire predictions for his GCSEs. He's frustrated, angry, confrontational...any help we offer is totally refused. He has no social life, no hobbies, just plugs himself into his phone and refuses to engage with us. His school are hugely supportive but, again, he refuses to take up their help. He said this morning that he has given up and, if he fails his GCSEs, that's his problem. We feel like we're just standing by, watching him crumble. His mindset needs to change and we just don't seem to be able to help. Does anyone have experience of residential camps that can help with this?
Is there any subject he is interested in? Food, art design?
He needs your support.
To be told, over and over, that you love him for being him, not for what he achieves.
Don't punish him for not succeeding: that's incredibly dangerous.
Bootcamp a have a role- for a few wild, self indulgent, out of control youngsters. He doesn't sound like that. He sounds more like he's ready to give up, in the face of huge obstacles to academic success.: don't push him.
I went through enormous angst about one of mine dropping out of school, and losing all self esteem for a while.
I was shocked into a different perspective, when an apparently successful school friend committed suicide, just before sixth form exams. I went to my offspring, who had spent most of a year in bed, and said" hey, you know what, you didn't fail, like you say you did, because you're still here. You came through this, and NOTHING ELSE MATTERS. ".
Offspring is now through those turbulent teen years, found some belief in themselves, now doing brilliantly at Uni.
Hang on in there. But support.
And maybe seek your own support?
Supporting through teen turmoil is the hardest thing I've ever done.
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