Something is bothering DS 17. He won’t talk about it. He’s in 6th form, pretty bright and we have always been close. It’s not puberty related as he’s long past that. He’s barely speaking and every time I try to talk I get ‘leave me alone’ or ‘can you go please’ I have emailed his form teacher at school but no feed back from there. Don’t think it’s school work. Possibly social media or friends? He’s not really joining in with family life like he used to but nothing else has changed. No new friends or activities. I don’t think it’s depression. It’s so out of character. He’s been like this for a few weeks, occasionally bouncing up a bit but then going all quiet and antisocial. As his mum I want to fix whatever is wrong and if I can’t then I have lots of life experience that I can use to at least offer a few ‘this too shall pass’ ideas.
Shall I just leave it? I am a bit of a terrier and don’t like to let go.
Must be so worrying for you. I wouldn't be able to leave it alone either. You know your son, you know when something's up. Have you tried just biting the bullet and saying "I know there is something wrong here....something is clearly getting you down....please tell me, it's really worrying me". Seems obvious but I try this tack with my boys sometimes, .. not beating round the bush, just asking outright If you still get refusal to share, all you can do is snoop for clues and keep an eye on him Good luck. Xxx
I'm worried there's something bothering you and although you may not think I can help, I want you to know I love you and I'm always here to listen. If you don't want to talk to me, let me help you find someone you can talk to.
The car journey thing really back fired on us - I used it twice and i was rumbled, they hated it. Sounds like he's worried about something - I think all you can do is to say you've noticed the change in him recently and reassure that whatever is worrying him, you will still love him and be there whenever he wants to talk about it.