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15 year old daughter won't talk about her period

(46 Posts)
Annmarie33 Mon 05-Feb-18 14:40:09

My daughter first started her period when she was about 12 but I have recently noticed that she has not been using any of the sanitary products for months now I have tried many times to speak to her about this but she says I'm disgusting and to stop talking about it I'm worried that her period has somewhat stopped or there is a problem I know she is not sexually active before anyone says she might be pregnant that would be impossible as she is very quiet and reserved and does not socialise or go out she goes to school and that's it she spends all her time with me in the house I'm not sure what to do about this as she just won't speak to me about it at all says I'm disgusting and rude.

Fuckit2017 Mon 05-Feb-18 14:43:50

But you can't be 100% she's not sexually active ?

Is there anyway of maybe talking to the school nurse or maybe your gp.

897654321abcvrufhfgg Mon 05-Feb-18 14:44:18

Don’t have anything to add except I know exactly what u r going through. My daughter is the same

DXBCat Mon 05-Feb-18 14:45:48

Could she have got herself a Diva Cup?

ReggaetonLente Mon 05-Feb-18 14:47:45

Sometimes it can be possible to have one then none for many months, especially when she’s so young and her cycle is working itself out. I’d think that’s what I’d most likely here.

I’d say your main issue is the fact she’s so disgusted and ashamed of her body - I think a bit of teenage embarrassment is normal, but can you think of any other reason why she’d feel this way about puberty/growing up? Are you usually quite an open family?

And not to alarm you, but not socialising and being quiet doesn’t rule out pregnancy. Most, if not all, pregnant 12 year olds will have become so due to abuse. I don’t want to scare you and I know it’s awful to think about but I think it is worth considering which adults she is alone with - music teachers, sports coaches etc - rather then just writing it off entirely, at least until you managed to get to the bottom of it with her. Sadly to protect our children we must always consider the worst case scenario, however briefly.

fruitbrewhaha Mon 05-Feb-18 14:51:04

I'll start by saying I don't have teenages daughters so potentially someone better my come alaong.

I would be very matter of fact about it. Get her while she is sitting down and cant march off out of the room. Tell her periods are not disgusting, neither is talking about them. Lack of periods is an indication of pregnancy or health problems, ones that could be an indicator of fertility issues in later life. Both are important and you will take her to an GP appointment. You can come in with her or not, which ever she prefers.

Are you concerned about her health in any other way?

georgeoutside Mon 05-Feb-18 14:54:54

What sanitary products are you leaving? My mum left towels and I never used them. I bought tampons for myself.

Annmarie33 Mon 05-Feb-18 16:25:16

My daughter has socialising problems at school I work closely with the school and her guidance teacher she attends school 3 days a week I drop her off and pick her up so there is no way she is ever along with a teacher or anyone she tells me everything and talks to me all the time but she just won't talk about his which is worrying me.

Annmarie33 Mon 05-Feb-18 16:25:56

What is a diva cup never heard of that

IHaveBrilloHair Mon 05-Feb-18 16:28:15

I'd leave her be,so long as you know she's not pregnant then why does she have to discuss periods with you?

Annmarie33 Mon 05-Feb-18 16:28:53

I know she is not sexually active for sure she is constantly with me she attends school 3 days week a drop her off and pick her up she has socialising issues and I work closely with the school and her guidance teacher she struggles with confidence a great deal but she just won't speak to me about this issue.

Annmarie33 Mon 05-Feb-18 16:30:51

I leave towels in the bathroom it is possible she might use tampons but she never goes to the shop unless I'm with her she does one friend at school so she might get them from her never thought about that.

PARunnerGirl Mon 05-Feb-18 16:31:54

I’d say the most likely thing is that she is buying/ obtaining in some way tampons herself, if it’s only pads that you are leaving for her. So why not say you’ve noticed she hasn’t been using the products you’ve got at home and is there another brand or type she’d prefer.

I do think the embarrassment is fairly normal for her age though! I wouldn’t get too worked up about this as she is likely to grow out of this.

Diva cup is a re-useable menstrual cup. I love my moon cup, but I don’t think most 15 year olds could be bothered to stick with it or give it a go.

DriggleDraggle Mon 05-Feb-18 16:33:19

if she feels embarrassed then just make sure she has towels and tampons in the bathroom and in her bedroom.

you could provide a little bin for her even.

make it easy for her to manage and show her that you understand.

CedricDiggory Mon 05-Feb-18 16:33:24

I’m 14. I didn’t have mine for 7 months once. I was definitely not pregnant. So it is possible not to have them for quite a long time

Annmarie33 Mon 05-Feb-18 16:34:55

She never wants to visit a gp unless she is ill a have had the doctor round at home to see her but she just tells him her everything is fine and am just worried about nothing I do worry and concerned that it could be a health issue I no for sure 100% she has not had any sexual contact with a boy and she is definitely not pregnant she tells me she has no interest in boys what so ever.

DancesWithOtters Mon 05-Feb-18 16:34:59

She might have a mooncup.
She might not like the type you have in the house and wants to buy her own.
She might be on the pill.

You can't make her talk about it, she's 15. Tell her you're always here to talk if she wants to, but don't push it. I was never comfortable talking to my mum about anything I felt was private as a teenager.

Annmarie33 Mon 05-Feb-18 16:37:01

Cerdric diggory thanks for your reply was everything OK did you visit a gp.

Annmarie33 Mon 05-Feb-18 16:38:57

She talks to me about everything unless it's about her personal body then she gets uncomfortable and tells me to shut up we are very close like best friends but I just worry about her alot

Annmarie33 Mon 05-Feb-18 16:41:32

I have asked her what she wants to use towels or tampons but she just tells me to shut and that's disgusting Im going shopping this evening so I will buy some tampons and wait to see if she uses them worth a try

negomi90 Mon 05-Feb-18 16:44:26

Offer to write to her, if she doesn't want to talk about it.
Write her note, saying you understand she's embarrassed but you're worried and want to help her, and if she wants she could write about a "friend."
Writing and not doing it face to face, may help her.

BrazzleDazzleDay Mon 05-Feb-18 16:52:13

I never spoke to my dm about my periods, just used her pads the first time and realised how awful they are so bought my own tampons, she soon cottoned on. Think it was a good 4 years before i asked her to buy me some, we were very close, i just was shy i guess

IJustCleanedThat Mon 05-Feb-18 17:01:24

Same as Brazzle - never talked to my mum about periods, I was so deeply embarrassed. And we've always been really close. As long as you make it clear that you're there for her and will listen if she wants to talk to you, I think that's the important thing.

specialsubject Mon 05-Feb-18 17:08:42

You are not disgusting, to call you that is rude. Kicking mum in the teeth isn't on.

She needs to get used to this as like it or not she's got nearly four decades of periods.

I really hope it is no more than stroppy kid.

WalkingUpTheMountain Mon 05-Feb-18 17:19:48

I would leave tampons and sanitary towels in the bathroom and tell her there. Also if you provide a bin, she will probably put the wrappers/towels in there and you'll know that she's having her period.

Periods at that age are still fluctuating. She may miss one or two but be perfectly healthy. It could take some years for them to come regularly.

Writing her a note seems like a good idea. Let her know you're there if she wants to talk about periods or her body.

You may be certain that she's not sexually active, but you can never rule out the possibility of sexual abuse which could occur in the time she's at school. It sounds like she's embarrased about periods, but just make sure she knows she can talk to you.

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