Think I know the answer, but does dd have an eating disorder? And if so, what should I do?

[qween]

Dd is 17, has always been a normal weight, neither fat nor thin, but a very picky eater.

In the last few months though, she has visibly lost weight, and has started skipping meals, claiming she is not hungry. She routinely refuses to eat anything from lunchtime on on days she goes out in the evening, and won't eat at all while out, claiming it makes her 'bloated'. She is incredibly bad-tempered whilst starving herself but just won't eat, refusing to eat while out for the day with us eg shopping or visiting universities. If she does agree to get some food while out, she'll go for something small and then pick at it, thinking we won't notice. Sometimes, at home, she takes plates of carbs or healthier stuff up to her room and does (I think) eat it, so she's not starving herself full time. But enough that I'm worried.

I have zero experience of eating disorders and no idea what to do. I've spoken to her and said I'm worried but she gets angry and genuinely seems to think that eating no food at all in the afternoon or evening when she's going out later is entirely normal. She genuinely seems to think that skipping all meals while out all day for a long day is entirely normal.

I've always been an average weight and not bothered by my weight or anyone's weight at all, so have no experience to fall back on. What is the best thing for me to do here?

She's hoping to go to uni in a few months, so I am also worried about how she's going to cope with all the stresses of being away from home without eating or family support. Right now, she's obviously pretty stressed by A Levels.

Thanks for all suggestions.

[NorthernSpirit]

It does sound like she has some food issues and she needs some help. The fact that she refuses to eat and she gets angry when you try to discuss it sends alarm bells to me. You need to take her to her GP and get some support.

[bluejelly]

Definitely take her to the GP. They will do blood tests etc to rule out other causes. And advise/help if it is an eating disorder.

Sorry you/she is going through this. I know lots of people who have had eating disorders and have come through the other side. So there is definitely reason to hope.

But do act.

[supermodel]

Please take her to see your GP, it does sound to me as if she has a problem.

[MollyHuaCha]

Do you think she would go to the Dr with you? The problem is, if her body weight falls within normal parameters she won't be seen as a priority on the NHS.

If you can afford to do so, I would go private. We did a few years ago and had a year of weekly counselling sessions (more frequently at the beginning). It helped enormously and prevented things from getting out of hand.

Good luck.

[FatherChewieLouie]

I have anorexia, have been this way for thirteen years now, and I would strongly advise getting her to the GP. Sadly, I agree with MollyHuaCha re: her not being seen as a priority if she is still a healthy weight but this needs nipped in the bud.

[qween]

Thanks all.

After posting this I talked to her in a non-critical way, just voicing my concerns, and she seems to have listened. I'm keeping an active eye on it as your consensus seems to be there might be an issue, but she did agree to eat before going out this weekend and seems to be eating a more balanced diet the last few days and not skipping meals (as far as I know).

I hope it raised her awareness. Thanks all for your support.

[FatherChewieLouie]

I just want to post again and let you know that I'm thinking of you and her.

[bluejelly]

How are things now qween?