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I don't know what to do

(14 Posts)
Lou8483 Wed 13-Dec-17 09:53:12

I could really do with some advise. I am 34 with 2 teens of 13 and 14, I live in Northampton which is where I have lived all my life. However even though all my family are here I don't get any support and my family are constantly arguing and refusing to speak to me.
I met a very loving and understanding man a year ago with a very supportive family, he has taken on my teens and treats me like a queen, my dilemma is he has suggested we move near his family in Wirral, I know his mum would let us live at hers for a few months so we could find a place to rent and I am a health care assistant so work will be easy to find. And here is my dilemma, do I stay in my familiar town with no support or do I get brave and move to a new place but with a massive support network? I absolutely love spending time in Wirral with his family and his mum has been amazing, she drives down to Northampton to visit and has paid for my daughters bedroom to be decorated and has promised the same for my son. The reason I am seriously thinking this over is because last Friday I needed help with my daughter and none of my family wanted t help, in the end I had no choice but to take her to my boyfriends mums, this turned out to be a fantastic decision and despite my daughters protests she loves her time with my boyfriends family and did not want to come back.
The thing is I have secured a uni place next year and I am terrified of messing that up. I have been told it's very easy to transfer but I worry. Also the move would mean a new school and town for my kids. I have all sorts going around in my mind. I know the Wirral offers much better schools and there are 4 local universities against our local 1, it is safer for the kids with much much better opportunities. In theory this move could be the best thing I do but I am absolutely terrified to make the decision I want to make for fear of it failing.
If anyone can help and offer any advise then please please help! My head hurts from thinking so much 🤕😓🤔

OP’s posts: |
Kareninfrance Wed 13-Dec-17 10:45:28

Go for it - you only live once - good luck x

Teenageromance Wed 13-Dec-17 10:48:33

I think you may be feeling uncertain because the move is initiated by your boyfriends connection to the Wirral - you are not choosing it for yourself iykwim. And presumably you have had years of making the decisions for yourself as a single Mum. But you are rightly weighing up all the evidence and it does look like a good decision.
Could you say it was a six month trial to see how it goes? Would that reduce some of your anxiety?

Lou8483 Wed 13-Dec-17 11:01:13

I do have step sisters in Liverpool and I did want t move up a few years back before I met my bf. he has mentioned it however he has said the decision is mine and he will support me whatever I choose. If I decided then i could not move back, I would need to hand my house back and I'd have nowhere to move back to. I do want to move, I am just frightened of the unknown I suppose

OP’s posts: |
BarbarianMum Wed 13-Dec-17 22:14:03

Has hpur 14 year old started their GCSE courses yet?

WeAllHaveWings Thu 14-Dec-17 06:01:35

A year into a relationship is very early days still. Are your teens robust enough to cope with moving into what is effectively a strangers home during some of the most important years of their schooling?

Personally I would maybe put moving to Wirral down as a medium term goal until your teens have completed school and your relationship has had time to develop.

Lou8483 Fri 15-Dec-17 11:01:16

Not yet, starts next year x

OP’s posts: |
Lou8483 Fri 15-Dec-17 11:02:46

My kids aren't very tough, my daughter loves it there and my son has said he would love to move too, the only thing holding me back is myself lol

OP’s posts: |
Lou8483 Fri 15-Dec-17 11:03:08

Meant to say my kids are very tough lol

OP’s posts: |
MyBrilliantDisguise Fri 15-Dec-17 11:07:09

It's great up here on the Wirral! Loads of MNetters up here who can vouch for it, too.

Are you living with this guy at the moment or would that be part of the change?

WaxOnFeckOff Fri 15-Dec-17 11:08:54

Sounds like a great opportunity and everyone is on-board. I can appreciate your reluctance, but at the end of the day you really have no ties to where you live now and life is for living.

Lou8483 Sun 17-Dec-17 13:42:13

Hi, I am living with my boyfriend and we are very happy and secure @waxonfeckoff. I love your username and philosophy on life xxxxx

OP’s posts: |
WaxOnFeckOff Sun 17-Dec-17 14:38:11

Thanks Lou, they sound like a lovely family, all the best whatever you decide smile

cacoa Mon 18-Dec-17 08:49:37

you answered the dilemma yourself IMHO
Sounds like your new Bf and family are a lifeline to you and the kids

best of luck smile

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