DD1 is working too hard!

[singingdeborah]

DD1 is 16 years old and taking GCSEs in 2018. She has her mocks now and I'm getting seriously worried that she is taking it a bit too seriously. She hasn't gone out to see her friends in over a month, in fact, she hasn't been out at all unless it's to go to school. She spends every minute away from school cooped up in her room, presumably revising.

She's always had generally good grades (right now predicted all 6s and above, which I've been told is a 'high B') but I know spending every minute studying just isn't healthy. I've tried offering to take her out to a café with the dogs, asked if she wants to go swimming but she declines and says she is busy. She wont even take the time out of her studying to watch a 30 minute show with me!

I'm getting seriously worried. This can't be healthy but she is ignoring anything I suggest. Am I just being paranoid? She's the eldest daughter I have by 8 years so I have no experience with this stuff. Any advice?

[twofloorsup]

My 15 year old son is exactly the same. He will occasionally come out of his room for food or a cuppa and a chat but he wants to do well and is very committed. There are times when I encourage him to go out with friends or just take a break but having had another child who didn't even bother to show up for his exams I'm just grateful that this one will !

Sorry that's probably not helpful is it !

[gingerclementine]

Wait until you have a moment together and tell her you're worried she'll burn out and that she needs to have some down time to actually absorb the stuff she's revising. Would she let you help her sort out a timetable which included at least 1 hour down time a night and 3 hours down time at weekends, in which she's expected to do some exercise and to see friends or go to a movie? These things will genuinely help her get better grades. The brain needs time to absorb info.

[lljkk]

I have one that overworks... well, until very recently. There's now a boy on the scene & her head is well-turned. We are in uncharted territory at moment.

I have been known to ban mine from revising after 9pm.

[BackforGood]

I wish we could put them all in a giant sack, give it a shake, and even them all up!
There are so many threads on MN about dc that never do any revising. I think you have less to worry about than they.

[justforthisnow]

Hopefully she's doing it strategically? so not wasting time on topics that won't come up. Not being cruel but there is a matrix and if she's studying this much make sure it's at least strategic and not wasted time, studying every last thing.

[gingerclementine]

Are they definitely revising? Mine go upstairs to 'do their homework' but when I sneak in they are looking at guitars that cost more than our house or on whatsapp with friends.

[Caulk]

My friends daughter is like this.

In the end, my friend started giving her daughter a lift home/to school so they could spend more time together, which gave them time to talk and her daughter to talk about the anxiety she felt about some of her exams (therefore why she was overworking!)

The daughter also wanted to go away with friends after GCSEs so she was made to get a job, which also got her out of the house. She helps at an alpaca farm, so nothing strenuous and not linked to her studying at all!

[lljkk]

hmmmmm... DD still besotted with The Boy.
She had paper 1 Mock English today -- She says that everyone dreads Paper 1 b/c it's the one they never have time to finish. But DD found it easy.

Either she's in LaLa Land due to The Boy or all the years of previous overwork has prepared her well. I guess we will know in a few weeks.