Teenager advice

[Guesty43]

Hi all, first time posting on here. I have a 19 yr old son, works as an engineer apprentice, earns his money goes to college, pays his keep, does his own washing etc. Brilliant lad but I'm worried about him socially, he just shuts himself away on his Xbox or phone, I now feel like a nag if I ask him to come down...is this normalish ?

[JeremyCorbynsBeard]

When you say he shuts himself away, is he playing alone, or is he playing with friends online? DS (15) spends a lot of time doing this, but it all seems very social, and something that a lot of them do.

[Guesty43]

He is playing online, it might be me expecting too much. Maybe its just hi down time. I just feel like I don't see him enough a bit like a lodger really, not much conversation unless I instigate it.

[Vitalogy]

My sons the same. I think he'd rather not be living here now but needs must.
Other similar threads like this seem about the same, mostly anyway.
Your son sounds pretty busy.
Do you think he speaks to mates online?

[Trying2bgd]

Is he otherwise happy? Does he talk at dinner etc? He may just be an introvert (which doesn't mean shy or dislikes people) who after spending a whole day dealing with people feels exhausted by it and needs alone time. And of course he may just love playing games, my husband could quite happily do this but rarely gets the time!!!

[snozzlemaid]

My ds 20 is the same. We see him at meal times but he's in his room most of the time when he gets in from work.
He is an introvert like me so I understand he's happy to be alone after a day of dealing with people.

[Cleebope2]

Yes my 19 year old DS is the same... studies at uni every day but hardly ever socialises. He sits on his screens all evening, we just see him at dinner. Doesn't seem interested in getting a girlfriend or a car or part time job or much independence. He seems happy enough just a bit bored at times. I thought by now he would've weaned himself off computer games after 7 years of this but no. I feel he's missing out on real life experience!

[BackforGood]

Think it is fairly normal that they only talk to you in passing, or when you sit down to eat together.
I have 21, 19, and 16 yr olds and they all morph into their rooms during the hours they are at home.

[Guesty43]

Thanks, I feel a bit better now. You do worry that life is passing them by, but I need to remind myself that socialising is so much different now to when I was that age. He is happy in his own company, hr talks at dinner. I suppose I just over think stuff. Thanks all