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Going to school part time due to MH not behaviour.

(10 Posts)
ihatethecold Wed 08-Nov-17 15:41:00

Do anyone’s child have an agreement with their teens School to attend part time or be allowed to not attend some days without the EWO becoming involved?
My dd 14 has awful anxiety and is waiting to be seen by Camhs for a possible diagnosis of depression.
Some days she physically cannot get into the school. We can sit in the car for ages (1hr+) trying to calm her enough to go in.
I have a meeting with a School support worker and the HOY next week to ask if she can sometimes miss the odd day due to MH.
They are well aware of her history and have been very supportive so far.
I already have a EWO letter this school year because she has missed 3 separate days due to MH.

I just want to know if anyone else has been in this position and if the school were helpful?

ihatethecold Wed 08-Nov-17 18:25:26

Anyone. 😬

ihatethecold Wed 08-Nov-17 20:42:10


WasWildatHeart Wed 08-Nov-17 21:23:12

My DD, 15y, has been struggling with anxiety since May half term. It seemed to happen really suddenly but in hindsight it had been building for a while. As a result she hasnt been in any academic lessons since but is going in for art, textiles and dance. School have been brilliant but every time we try increase her lessons she stops going at all till we back off and let her choose. Nightmare. Her chance of achieving her potential in GCSEs is fading by the day and we are all under so much stress. Positively she has been gradually resuming all her out of school social activities which she had found too stressful tstressed to do.

In terms of the support school have offered here it is
- accepting any attendance is better than none
- marking her as being off for health rather than absent
- giving her a card that lets her leave the classroom if she's too stressed
- teaching assistant time to help her prepare to re-enter lessons
- space to work in 'study periods'
- one member of staff meeting with her each week to plan her timetable
- teachers sending her work but not overwhelming her. Sending her positive feedback when she(rarely) hands work in
Now we are waiting to see if she gets a place at a small school unit - though she is unlikely to attend. She is on CAMHS waiting list or CBT and has also been prescribed medication - which she won't take! Very hard to help!
Hope you get the help you need for your DD and all the very best to you - it's SO hard!

ihatethecold Wed 08-Nov-17 22:19:18

Thank you wildatheart.
I appreciate you replying.

Redsrule Sat 11-Nov-17 17:51:06

My DH died in the January of my DD2's Y11, as a result her attendance plummeted. Her school and I sat down with her and worked out a timetable that she felt she could meet. It didn't always work but the fact she had been involved in the process really helped. She ended up with 10 GCSE's A*-B and last summer got a 1st in her degree.. As with all MH issues she needed time to heal and the feeling that she had some element of control. Good luck, it is agonising as a parent to see your child suffering this way.

JudasInTheTescoVan Sat 11-Nov-17 18:00:51

My DS is only 9 but he has horrendous anxiety. He wants to be in school but freezes when he gets there and hasn’t been in for about four weeks. He’s on around 50% attendance. Cahms and ed psych are seeing him next week but I’ve been assured that School would have to recommend going through EWO and they’re not going to do that as they can see how much I’ve tried to get him in. It’s an exhausting situation to be in OP, I hope things work out soon for you.

Holliewantstobehot Sat 11-Nov-17 18:11:24

Ds has bad anxiety and asd. His attendance is sporadic. The school has applied for home tutoring from the hospital education services. He will do some tutoring at home and then go into school as much as he can around this. At least that way when he's really bad and unable to go in at all he will be doing something. Apparently the tutors are really experienced at dealing with anxiety and start with the child's interests. The aim is to tutor at home, then in somewhere like the local children's centre, then at the school with the same tutor as a kind of reintegration.

Your EWO sounds very unhelpful. I always phone DS in as ill when he's off as anxiety is an illness. Perhaps ask your GP if they can write to the school explaining the situation as you are still waiting for camhs. Camhs in our area are good at telling the school what's what so make sure you ask them to do this when your dd is seen.

ihatethecold Sun 12-Nov-17 10:32:46

Thank you everyone. It’s all helpful, after my meeting on Tuesday I will have a much better idea what we can collectively do to help.
I have asked the gp to escalate her referral to camhs.

Ktown Sun 12-Nov-17 10:37:18

Poor girl that must be so hard
Similar happened with a family member and School were helpful plus home schooling (I think) in the end
Social media had a massive part in this so whenever I read a thread like this I comment to close their accounts and re start and remove access to glamorous life blogs
I think this toxic culture is particularly bad for teen girls
If you are living in a semi in the middle of a regular town you just won’t have Kim k/alessandra steinherr/ Cara delavinges lifestyle ever

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