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To Tell or Not to Tell?

(9 Posts)
CC762 Sun 05-Nov-17 19:33:14

Last year my 18 year old daughter rented a room from a friend. The friend is a single parent with a 12 year old daughter.
As it turned out, my daughter left after a couple of months due to ending her employment in the city (nothing to do with the living situation.)
New Years Eve 2016 (around 3 months after moving back home), my daughter had a call from two girls on a withheld number. They were revealing details about our family members and my daughter etc.
My daughter had no idea who it could be and could only think it might be an ex of her boyfriend, although it was unlikely.
She thought this because on about the 6th call of the night, one of the girls asked to speak to my daughter about her boyfriend, saying she was jealous and was his ex girlfriend. My daughter ignored further calls but has had many since at all times of the day/night, throughout the year. They never revealed who they were and my daughter couldn’t trace the number without filing a police report for harassment, which we didn’t do as it wasn’t exactly threatening. It was however very unpleasant, annoying and a bit unnerving as she knew it wasn’t any of her friends, so who else could know all this info? Fast forward to Friday evening (almost a year since the start of the calls) and she receives a call from a number which isn’t a contact on her phone, but it isn’t withheld either. She calls it back and hears laughing before someone hangs up. She keeps calling and finally gets through, it’s the same girls. After she hangs up, my other daughter puts the number in to WhatsApp and the profile picture for the person who’s phone number it is comes up. It’s the 12 year old daughter of the friend my daughter lived with.
I’m unsure whether I should tell her mother or not. The reason I am considering it is because if she is doing it to other people (it seemed to be the entertainment when she was having a sleepover with a friend) then she is old enough to be potentially charged with harassment if reported. A friend who is a police officer has suggested I do for this reason. Do I or don’t I?

TheMasterNotMargarita Sun 05-Nov-17 19:37:20

If it was my daughter I'd want to know what she's up to.
I'm perhaps naive but shocked at what some kids get up to.
She needs to know that her behaviour is completely unacceptable.

LadyWire Sun 05-Nov-17 19:55:37

I'm sorry, she's been doing it for a whole year? Call the police!

Iamagreyhoundhearmeroar Sun 05-Nov-17 19:58:52

What's your dilemma? Are you seriously considering saying nothing? confused

SparklyMagpie Sun 05-Nov-17 19:59:02

A are you being serious?! Of course tell the mother!

AnyFucker Sun 05-Nov-17 20:00:32

How is this even a question ?

scrabbler3 Sun 05-Nov-17 21:56:50

The mother needs to know, before this kid goes off the rails big time. It's not normal behaviour. She's been stalking/harassing someone for 10 months. It's weird and creepy and needs to be addressed.

youarenotkiddingme Sun 05-Nov-17 22:05:07

If my 13yo was behaving this way I'd want to know so I could kick his arse into next year!

I'd be annoyed if it was kept secret from me as these things escalate if they think they can get away with it.

Geillis Sun 05-Nov-17 22:32:46

If it had been your daughter doing this to someone else, would you have wanted to be told?

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