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Rules for 17 year olds?

(4 Posts)
Lonelybutnice Fri 27-Oct-17 06:47:53

I am wondering how other parents deal with rules and curfews for their 17 year olds?

DS has a very good apprenticeship and he works 8-5 mon-fri. He travels to Northampton alone (and meets other apprentices there) for a week every few months to complete the educational side of his apprenticeship. He has his own money of course and he also contributes a small monthly amount to the bills.

He goes to football matches every other weekend. However, for the past month he has been going out on a Saturday (occasionally a Friday too) and hasn't came home until 4am. Just last night he did the same thing and he has work today! Although he said he fell asleep at a friends house.

Is this acceptable behaviour? I find it difficult to sleep until he is home so it is affecting my own work. I also have an 11 year old and a 22 month old.

I guess I'm wondering how others set and enforce rules at this age, in particular when they are earning their own money and working hard?

Many thanks.

Notanumberuser Fri 27-Oct-17 06:52:26

At 17 I’d expect a text if he wasn’t coming home and to be told if he didn’t need fed.

corythatwas Fri 27-Oct-17 15:47:41

What Notanumber said. Basically, the same courtesy you would expect from an adult living in your house. But (because he is not yet adult) a little more say over the balance between a night out and any demands placed by his apprenticeship. I'm happy for my 17yo to stay out until the small hours if: I know whether to lock up/no food is wasted/his school performance is not affected.

sweetheart Fri 27-Oct-17 15:55:06

I have a 17 year old dd who is also on an apprenticeship and has just passed her driving test so now has both money and freedom.

I have to say I think so far things are going pretty well. She knows i expect her to give us details of what her plans are, where she will be and who with etc. I believe that firstly it's a common courtesy and secondly it means that we can still go some way to making sure she is safe.

The latest she has got home so far is 1am so I'm not sure how I'd feel about 4am if she hadn't text me or something. i think we'd be having cross words if that was the case and an explanation of why it's not acceptable.

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