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Self harm help please

(6 Posts)
isittimetogotobed Thu 26-Oct-17 10:21:19

My daughter is self harming. She is 15, she is quite down and generally grumpy for quite a lot of the time but can be very up and down . She stays in her room a lot on her phone and has been self harming cutting her hip/ thigh area.
she does go out around once a week with friends but there has been friendship issues and bullying.
I have managed to get her to the doctors today, she has previously been very resistant to this.
I told him about the mood swings highs and lows
How shit she feels etc and he suggested the pill ( she has point blank refused) I told him about the cutting bit he just sort of shrugged and said well try the school for counselling.

I've come away from the appointment so disappointed, it took a lot to convince her to go and he really wasn't helpful at all

Hoppinggreen Thu 26-Oct-17 10:25:45

When my 12 year old DD was self harming ( scratching wrist with a sharp point) for similar reasons we took her to a Private counsellor who specialised in self harm in teens. It was £40 per hour and she was recommended by a friend in the same line of work.
I wasn't present in the sessions so I don't know exactly what was discussed - counsellor did give brief comments but no details and I felt this was appropriate as I didn't want DD to feel she was being "reported" on.
DD went for 4 sessions, with the option to revisit any time if she/we felt the need and it really seemed to help.
Would this be an option for you?

leonardthelemming Thu 26-Oct-17 10:29:05

I would encourage her to read this. It's good for parents, too.

www.mentalhealth.org.uk/publications/truth-about-self-harm

bagelbaby Thu 26-Oct-17 10:33:27

You have my utmost sympathy. It's really tough for the parents too while you try and remain calm and supporting. I found this particularly difficult as I discovered more layers such as the online purchase of razors from Boots ...
Do seek help. A counsellor whom your DD Trusts would be great. Does her school provide any proper pastoral support? Good luck. You are not alone

isittimetogotobed Thu 26-Oct-17 10:41:45

Thanks for the replies.
She had previously said no to counselling but I think she might now?
It seems like she tells me no but actually wants me to do theses things does that make sense?
I'll say I think we need to see the doctor, she says no and I try to respect her wishes but then weeks later she says 'you don't care you didn't even take me to see anyone'

Keehar256 Thu 26-Oct-17 14:56:05

My DD 14 did this last year. She had a lot of anxiety and panic attacks and school refusal and we managed to get a CAHMS referral. TBH they seemed more concerned about panics than SH.. She also saw a counsellor privately which cost £25 a session weekly for about 18 months. When she started there the counsellor didn't know about the self harm, and once she found out and did some work with DD about it , it literally stopped overnight. I don't know what was said, but whatever it was it worked better than CAMHs.
I would recommend finding a counsellor who specialises in teens (ours was also a school counsellor as her job).
It is so heartbreaking for parent to have child so unhappy and self harming. There is so much out there, they seem to post pictures of it on line with their friends in a kind of "I'm more messed up than you" sort of one up manship - it's so sad.
But counselling definitely helped my DD.
She didn't want to talk to me about it. When I tried to talk to her about it she had hysterics and hid in her wardrobe for over an hour refusing to come out. If I saw her arm with cuts (she never tried to hide them) and commented on it she just went crazy. I would ignore the cuts or just say quietly where the plasters and savlon were and tell her to keep them clean. She knew to come to me if she needs medical attention (fortunately they were only superficial) I never removed blades as I thought she'll just find something else. She still has razor blades in a little box even though she hasn't cut herself for at least 6 months now. But recently she started to talk about it to me and she is quite proud of herself for stopping.
I hope and pray it won't start again.
OP I wish you and your DD luck. I would get her as much help as you can, even if she's not keen. She will know you are trying to help and support her. Good luck flowers

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