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Teens financial expectations...what are 'everyone else's parents' actually giving their teenagers??

(82 Posts)
Maisie36 Mon 23-Oct-17 16:14:32

My son gets £35 per month pocket money, plus his phone. He has a bus pass for school, and during term I give him £20 per week for lunch. However when it comes to weekends and holidays apparently all his friends parents dish out £10 a day for food! This seems unlikely to me, it adds up to a rediculous amount but im told I am I just being tight! What are 'everyone's else's parents' actually doing??

AdalindSchade Mon 23-Oct-17 16:15:47

Even if they are getting £10 a day (more fool their parents) if you can't afford £70 a week then you aren't being tight and your ds is a cheeky twat for suggesting you are.
Even if you can afford it it's silly money.

expatinscotland Mon 23-Oct-17 16:18:48

How about he gets a job? I didn't get pocket money from my parents by that age, I had a job. And guess what? I still performed excellently at school! Yes! It's possible to do both, especially when young and having more energy.

Kenworthington Mon 23-Oct-17 16:35:20

How old is he OP?
Ds is 14 and gets £15 a week , dd is 12 and gets £12 a week. During holidays I may give them the odd extra couple quick if they are meeting friends for. Dirty macdonalds. Other than that that needs to cover what they ‘want’, their ‘needs’ are met separately. When they are 16 and left school they will be expected to get a part time/ weekend job. There are no jobs around here for the age they are now.

Maisie36 Mon 23-Oct-17 16:46:02

He's 15, and since this summer has been spending more and more of his time out with his friends, and less time here to eat lunch. They're eating McD/KFC/subway almost every time they're out. But does food constitute needs? He's not being rude about it, he just doesn't think he should have to spend his own money on food!?

florapearl Mon 23-Oct-17 16:49:02

It's nigh on impossible for 15 year olds to get jobs, in fairness.

ihatethecold Mon 23-Oct-17 16:49:06

We don’t give anything to our 17 year old DS.
he pays for his own phone because he works as well as 6th form.
I buy toiletries for him plus the odd t shirt but I want him to become independent.
He’s just oass d his driving test so we paid the first year of insurance but he has to put money aside now for petrol and next years insurance.
My 14year old dd gets given money as she needs it. Probably £10 to £20 per week it averages out.
But she doesn’t have to buy anything with that. It’s for going out with friends.

Taffeta Mon 23-Oct-17 16:49:39

Tricky. DS (14) gets a nominal amount of pocket money but is increasingly meeting up with friends in the holidays - and with train ticket, activity and food it’s £25-30. I’m happy to fund this once a half term or a few times in longer holidays, but if he wants to do it more often then it’s his own money or they find a cheaper alternative.

He’s about to do a refereeing course so should be able to self fund soon.

HorlicksBunny Mon 23-Oct-17 16:57:32

My 15 yr old DD gets £10 per month and her PAYG phone gets topped up every 2 or 3 months by £10.

She has birthday and Christmas money to spend. We buy her toiletries and clothing. When she goes out (not often, a few times a term) we would probably give her £10 for food / transport. If she were to go out every weekend, I would probably switch to a much more generous monthly sum and not give her money each outing.

I can't afford to eat out everyday (and all that junk food isn't healthy anyway), I would expect my DD to know that she couldn't afford to live like that too.

Maisie36 Mon 23-Oct-17 17:24:53

No I know! I have pointed out that I'd make myself a sandwich for lunch, not go down the road and buy something out! My post today was promoted by him being here, with plans to go out later, so I suggested having some lunch before they left, but he and his friend said they'd go to Subway instead!

Maybe I should be increasing his regular amount and then telling him to manage it himself, rather than this daily negotiation?

Maisie36 Mon 23-Oct-17 17:25:28

Prompted not promoted!

endofacentury Mon 23-Oct-17 17:27:53

My 13 year old gets £20 a month pocket money, phone paid for and if it’s school holidays I will give extra money for going out, not £10 a day tho I couldn’t afford that.

Idontmeanto Mon 23-Oct-17 17:35:38

I pay phone, junior gym membership and £15 per month pocket money. £10 per half term on school meal a/c to top up packed lunches, which I also provide supplies for.
Elder dd has regular babysitting, younger dd I pay £5 a week for doing the ironing.
If they want fast food out with mates they pay. There is food in the cupboards they can help themselves to otherwise. If anything I think responsible parents should be rationing access to fast food, not funding a daily habit!

Orangeplastic Mon 23-Oct-17 18:16:27

14 year olds get £20 a month and we pay for their phone, travel, lunch etc.. and we pay for trips out with friends - we do not want to give them money just to accumulate savings - although saving is good, spending is good too! - we want them to socialise and they don't do much of that yet! When they start regularly socialising we'll set a reasonable budget.

corythatwas Mon 23-Oct-17 21:17:24

My teen gets very similar to yours, OP. We did give him a football season ticket for his birthday and he walks everywhere so doesn't need bus money.

somewhereovertherain Mon 23-Oct-17 21:20:38

My dds 15/16, get jack all - well dinner money and Mobile bill but beyond that it’s up to them both have jobs so both get what they want / need. All of thier friends have jobs so seems to be the norm round here.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 23-Oct-17 21:23:04

Mine gets similar to yours op. We do give a bit extra in the holidays to spend.

hidengosqueak Mon 23-Oct-17 21:29:11

My teen dd’s get £25 a month if and only if chores are done. Anything else is negotiating and requires extra effort. It’s just life you get out what you put in.

Maisie36 Mon 23-Oct-17 21:55:12

A couple of you have said you give similar amounts as me, just wondered where you stand with the extra for food thing?

BTW there's a healthy home cooked meal available every night, so he's not surviving solely on junk!

ThroughThickAndThin01 Mon 23-Oct-17 21:58:04

I give mine extra for food at weekends and holidays, but then I don't give him £20 during the week.

Caulk Mon 23-Oct-17 22:00:31

God-daughter (15) is gets £30pw for holidays, mainly spent on lunch out with friends. That’s it though, if she spends it all then she chooses not to go out...

She’s rural and gets lifts or taxi paid for as it’s two buses a day. She does have a job waitressing at the local hotel at Christmas and the summer holidays.

rainbowjoy Mon 23-Oct-17 22:11:30

Just 17 ds gets £50 per month and phone paid. Walks to 6th form takes lunch or pays for his own. Toiletries he's happy to use what's in bathroom nothing special. He's not one for buying many clothes either. Has a part time job earns between £200 and £300 per month. We are sharing costs for driving lessons and he is saving hard for a car which we will help out with insurance but he needs to pay for fuel.

MoodyMumOfOne Tue 24-Oct-17 11:15:16

Eating out is a luxury, not a necessity when there is food available at home. I would only give extra money for eating out if its a special occasion e.g. someone's birthday, not because he fancies a subway!

Anecdoche Tue 24-Oct-17 11:19:02

everyone is different and gives what they can afford and what feels reasonable to them.
mine get £40 a week plus phone contract and gym membership.
they have to buy their own clothes, if they dont want to take a sandwich into college they can buy food, if they dont want me to trim their hair they pay the barber. if they want different toiletries than the ones i buy for the household, any social stuff etc.
it sounds a lot but when you break it down it is hardly anything really.

moomoogalicious Tue 24-Oct-17 11:23:31

Mine get £20/month pocket money, phones paid for, lunch at school paid for, clothes, plus an extra tenner a week max if they want to go out in the hols (reasoning that i pay for outings for their younger sibling). No way would they get £10 a day for food! They can eat at home or get a bag of chips from the money they have

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