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Someone please tell me things to stop me wanting to shake my 17 year old (obviously am not going to shake him but am tempted to drop kick him out of the window)

(9 Posts)
ClownsAndJokers Sun 15-Oct-17 21:17:53

He is driving me crazy! Won’t do anything I ask/tell him to do, admits he is being an arsehole, and doesn’t behave like this in any other situation.

Please someone link me to rational ideas about how teenagers minds work and that say they eventually stop being arseholes, so I can stay calm and just be all zen about it rather than want to rip his head off like I feel at the moment. I’m sick of him ignoring what I say.

Am a single parent so it’s not helping I’ve nobody to take my mind off it. Apart from the other teenager and the young one who are in bed anyway!

NextIndia Sun 15-Oct-17 22:41:40

No advice but a handhold in solidarity. I have a 16 year old DD who is behaving like a fucking arsehole and I am at my limit. Please God it gets easier soon.

ClownsAndJokers Sun 15-Oct-17 23:34:29

I’ll take the handhold and offer my sympathy! Parenting teens is a thankless task at times! Mostly I can walk away and not get too caught up in it but the last couple of days have been tough, I’ve struggled not to say something I’ll regret.

I’m glad it’s Monday tomorrow and I can take my mind off pointless arguments for a while.

I’m hoping this particular argument will end when he moves out, whenever that will be... good luck to us both in the meantime!

TheABC Sun 15-Oct-17 23:54:01

Yes, it gets better. I don't have teens yet (thank gods), but I remember the epic arguments between my sister and parents. Hold the line - they still really, really need you to be the adult in a shifting, often complicated world. Memorable incidents included:
- not bringing washing out of room and then getting detention for turning up in (clean) clubbing clothes at school
- Online grooming: thankfully she told Mum about this one and the creep got chased out of the cafe and down the road
- Crockery Wars. Sister would take plates into her room. My parents refused to pick them up - she knew where the sink lived. It got so bad that they bought extra crockery. Finally, she relented after mice started appearing in her room.

The good news is that when they do move out, they get smacked in the face with the work of running a household and generally become more appreciative of what you did for them. And if they don't - well, hey, you don't have to suffer the mess alongside them. My sister came out the other side as a decent human and she gets along well with Mum and Dad.

PortiaCastis Mon 16-Oct-17 00:02:34

I'm a single parent with an 18year old dd who's just started uni last month. My house is tidy the crockery is all downstairs her room is clean and tidy ..........and empty !!
I miss the floordrobe the missing crockery and the bf coming round but already she seems more organised and asked me if she could take a couple of cans of polish with her after she'd been back for a weekend hmm unheard of but she seems like she cares about her studio room.
Don't like being on my own thoughsad

Howlongtilldinner Mon 16-Oct-17 17:37:53

Hi OP I have posted a few times about my DS 19.. I’m also a single parent.

He is currently working, after dropping out of uni in the first year, in masses of debt and nothing to show for it. Although he is working, he is being paid cash in hand, picked up/dropped off..slack hours, no career path.

He hasn’t been paid for 2 days he didn’t work (bosses choice) so I asked if he was happy about this “well it’s bettr than nothing”..oh and he can’t give me his keep money this week because he owes money.

I cannot bear to look at him..thank god he stays in his room!

helhathnofury Wed 18-Oct-17 16:41:59

DS 15 driving me bonkers at the moment. So moody, won't do anything for anyone. Had call from school yesterday because he had upset a yr 7 girl. At least school recognize out of character and just given couple detentions rather than isolation. It is like he's had a personality transplant. Mention exams and revision - doesn't care "I'll work in McDonalds" - he's a bright kid. The so called "banter" with mates online is awful. I dont know if its just hormones, year 11 stress, plus I've got a big operation coming up, or what. Could do without it though sad

Emilybrontescorsett Thu 26-Oct-17 12:38:42

I feel your pain.
My ds is locked on his ro refusing to come out.
He does nothing around the house. I'm a single parent too and he won't go to his dads. His dad wo t entertain him either.
Moving house soon and I ha e told him that in all seriousness I don't think I want him there with his he is at the moment
He dropped out of college and packed a job in.
It's crap it really is.

Howlongtilldinner Thu 26-Oct-17 17:39:12

Huge argument and I have told my DS he has to find a room to rent. Won’t give me any keep money because he owes money elsewhere, however, he can smoke weed and drink all weekend.

He has no regard or respect for me or his home, he doesn’t even like mesad

I’ve truly had enough, he’s almost 20, he needs a reality check, and I’m at my wits end, my mental health is suffering.

flowersto everyone dealing with this

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