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Ds' friend has died

(6 Posts)
HiccupHaddockHorrendous Mon 09-Oct-17 11:30:32

I'm not sure whether this is the best place for this or whether I should have posted it in bereavement.
My dear friend's ds has died. Her ds and mine are in the same year at school and have know each other for 10 years. They weren't close but we live in a small community so both families know each other reasonably well.
I'm not sure what's the best way to help ds through it all.
Today is the first school day since it happened and I imagine there will be some form of support offered but I'm not sure they will be equipped to deal with this.
So far, ds seems ok. Not falling apart with emotion but quite obviously affected. He's talking but is generally a man of few words and I don't want to keep pushing him to tell me how he feels about it all.
Any suggestions on what I can do to help him or where to look for advice?

EvansOvalPies Mon 09-Oct-17 11:40:13

Hi Hiccup. So sorry to hear this, as always the death of someone, particularly a child, is always so difficult to deal with.

The school will know how to deal with the situation (judging by the school I worked in, and the school my own children attended). We used to have meetings with guest speakers - the support for a family or friend death was wonderful, so I'm sure your school will be dealing with this appropriately.

With regard to your own son, all you can do is listen to your son when he wants to talk, cuddle him with no words and just let him cry, if that's what he wants. Lots of parents nowadays have F/Book pages regarding the loss of a loved one - whilst I'm not a particular fan of f/book, my own son and his peers found this incredibly helpful when a friend of theirs was murdered. They shared thoughts, memories, etc and comforted each other.

It's difficult to offer a hard and fast solution, my advice is based solely on our own experience.

EvansOvalPies Mon 09-Oct-17 11:43:35

You could post in bereavement also, there is great advice on there.

HiccupHaddockHorrendous Mon 09-Oct-17 11:50:38

Thanks, Evans.
Re school. I'm sure there are procedures in place for this kind of situation but it affects so many in the school, I can't even begin to imagine how they're going to manage it.
Yes, I'll re-post in bereavement later. I've had great advice from that section to try and support my dear friend.

Fex Mon 09-Oct-17 17:45:23

Beware of social media.
When this happened at DS's school (though different circumstances) there was hysteria online for some time and I ended up taking his access away for a while which, in hindsight was the best thing for him.
Yes, school will pull out all the stops to counsel and help the children.

HiccupHaddockHorrendous Tue 10-Oct-17 12:44:49

Thanks. I will keep an eye on that. His phone stays in my room over night so there is a period of time every day where he is switched off.

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