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DD 15 Cut of her hair Update(10 Posts)
A few weeks ago I posted about DD cutting off her hair and my massive overreaction.
In the last few weeks DD and I have come to a truce (not sure what else to call it). DD was given a basic phone (no data access) to replace her smartphone. She was told that all of her messages with Jack would be read by myself. Other messages with school friends and such were respected as private since the only issue was with Jack at this point.
DD has been open with allowing me access to messages with Jack, and I have been honest with what I thought of the messages. Jack was warned by me that if I found anymore information of sexual texts between them legal action would be considered.
Texting between DD and Jack went on for about a week. I would check the phone (for Jack only) about once a day. DD would charge her phone in the living room (the phone is not allowed in her bedroom).
At the end of that first week DD started talking about another boy named Nathan. This young man is only a year older than herself. She seemed to really like him. She asked me if he could come over and meet me. I took this as a good sign as she has never asked me to meet her friends before. He came over and I find him to be a very nice young man.
I noticed after a few days of Nathan being friends with my daughter that the conversations with Jack had started to trickle to just a few through out the day.
It has now been a full week since there has been any communication with Jack. The last message he sent my daughter replied pretending to be me and told Jack that she was in trouble and was not allowed to use her phone for the foreseeable future. Since then there has been no communication.
Since Nathan has been in the picture I have noticed that my daughter seems much happier. He has a lot of respect for her. They spend most of their time here at the house. They stay in the main areas of the house where I can see them. I appreciate that as I don't have to worry about them doing anything sexual in my home.
Is it okay of me to think that maybe things are starting to get better? That Nathan is a good thing for my daughter? Or is this just a calm lull before something major happens? I am hoping that with this things are going to get better around my home and family.
You are seriously creepy and controlling
I remember your previous thread. It does look like your DD has realised that Jack is not a good influence, consciously or otherwise. Seems reasonable to be cautiously optimistic!
I think your doing great. excellent rules and boundaries.
tell her how you feel, less tension, enjoy seeing her smile etc.
think of your daughter as maturing not as Nathan being "better". have you asked your daughter how she is feeling about the change in friendships?
Lawnofdelray - the OP found strong evidence that Jack was controlling her DD. OP is not the controlling one IMHO.
I absolutely and resolvedly to OP in that case.
out2pastilure you are right i should see it as her maturing because she made the decision to stop talking to Jack in her own.
I did ask her once last week about jack. She started crying and said it was hard to think about because she still cared about him.
I know things will take time so I am trting not to push issues about Jack at the moment as she doesnt mention him at all.
I wouldn't focus discussion on jack per say but on how she feels? is she happier making her own decisions or enjoying the more harmonious home life. does she feel better about choices she is making on a daily basis (i'm not aware of what jack was doing at this point but I might do an advanced search).
lawnofdelray I think you need to read the original thread before you start insulting the OP!