Hi all. My DS was 18 in July.
He wants a motorbike (thanks dickhead XH for putting that idea in his head, he was quite happy with a car before). Regardless of whether he wants a car or a motorbike, he needs to get a job in order to afford the running costs and maintenance etc that goes with car or bike ownership. And there's the personal and social development and experience of being at work and, for someone who prefers to spend all their time alone, the confidence to be gained (pre-University or pre-'proper' work) is something he really really needs.
He's made NO effort and sadly until he does, even if I could completely afford it myself, I'm not shelling out a penny when he hasn't got the means to contribute financially to ANY of it. He has 1.5 days a week and every other weekend and evenings where he could work a job.
Would it be unreasonable to 'force' things along a bit by giving him notice that beyond a certain date:
- I'm no longer going to pay for his Microsoft Xbox Live payments
- No longer pay for his mobile phone?
What do you think - might that give him the shove that's needed??
Of course, his dad I wanna be the fun parent might well cough up for those things himself thus teaching DS absolutely nothing about what might be an appropriate show of commitment to how you go about getting something that you want in life. But there's nothing I can do about that.
Interested to see what others have done and whether this seems fair, bullying or what.