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Depression/anxiety or simply being 15?

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positivo Wed 23-Aug-17 13:03:12

I am divorced my children (18yo dd and 15 yo ds) live with me almost full time as their dad is an EA. Both children can see it - dd handles him better now and they sort of get on.

DS was the golden child last year with his dad, this year he can see the controlling and manipulation more and doesn't like being around him.

DS can be adorable, helpful and the sweetest man/boy ever. Other times he can be so nasty and angry - you wonder where it comes from and is upsetting.

DS was on the phone in tears last week from his holiday with his dad, he wasn't enjoying it. I had his dad on the phone saying that ds was being nasty and pathetic and that he needs help. Apparantly DS said things to his dad which his dad won't tell me, that means he thinks he needs medical help.

my ex is currently seeing a psychiatrist for issues relating to bereavement of two of his best friends recently, his relationship with his son came up and the 'emminent psychiatrist' thinks DS needs help...

Last year my dd went through something similar, she then came to live with me, she was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. She had minimal contact with her dad and she seems much better. the treatment she received was to be told she needed to lose 4lbs in weight in a week and to skip for 15 mins a day! I didn't think at the time that the diagnosis rang true.

Whilst i can appreciate that teenagers DO suffer anxiety and depression and can need help, there is also the case for over-reaction, teenagers go through some hideous times. Other parents in the school year with sons describe similar mood swings and outbursts.

So, now I am at a point where my exH want to have ds diagnosed via and 'expert', whereas from experience I know that people who are EA, use their new found knowledge via counselling to step up the abuse. he's already said that if I refuse to allow my ds access to help (he has already refused counselling at school) that any future 'issues' and problems he may have will 'be on my head'

I have spoken at length to my ds, he seems pretty self aware, and a teenager BUT, I'm worried now, any ideas where I can find help, or is he simply being a teenager?
TIA

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