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Teenagers

Teenage DS again!

6 replies

Howlongtilldinner · 12/08/2017 17:06

Posted before about my DS. He has dropped out of his first year at uni after maxing out all loans and money from me. He never completed the year. He still hasn't got a job. Has applied for 'some' and been for one proper interview. Appears to not have any interest in getting a job. He has acquired a girlfriend, who I've said is not allowed here during the day, but I've no idea if she is because I work full time.

His Dad gives him £10 a week and pays his phone bill, I don't give him a penny unless it's a fare to a potential job/interview. I've tried talking to his Dad but he has (and never has had) no interest, and refuses to stop paying the money, and won't have him living with him.

I'm at my wits end and don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

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EezerGoode · 12/08/2017 17:12

He must be about 19/20?.. you need to have a serious chat..he might have plans to enrole on another uni course.or something....what about vso...that would help make a nam of him.get him to look at their web site..has he got a nice smart suit for interviews? Can he drive? Could you suggest going halves on driving lessons if he gets off his arse and gets a job...

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EezerGoode · 12/08/2017 17:15

Man even ,not nam

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Howlongtilldinner · 12/08/2017 17:46

He's 19. Started driving lessons, which I was paying for, couldn't be arsed to book them so it al went by the wayside. He was going to have my old car because I've bought another one.

He has clothes for interviews, no plans for any further education. I've suggested voluntary work..can't be arsed. I've suggested the pub down the road..can't be arsed.

I am worn out..

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TennisAtXmas · 12/08/2017 17:53

Its hard, you'll get lots of people saying that you have to make him do this and that, but its difficult to force a 19 yo to get on with their own life. Would certainly help if he got any sort of job tho.
If its any consolation, my friends DS was similar, did part time bar work, v little else, for 2 years...then decided he wanted to join the army, completed basic training with flying colours, and is working through specialist training which will always stand him in good stead whenever he leaves the military.
My friend was so worried, tried to encourage him...nothing seemed to work..he just got there eventually.
I'm sure it doesn't always work out so well, but there is hope!

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TennisAtXmas · 12/08/2017 17:57

Have you any friends/relatives who could happen to drop by and could ask him what he has planned, and maybe suggest some options that they thought about (pretending not to know he's decided he can't be arsed!)? An outsiders perspective might make him think a bit more about what he's doing.

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Howlongtilldinner · 13/08/2017 00:32

He has had lots of encouragement, been asked about his plans etc. He talks a good talk to those 'not in the know'.

Ive heard lots of stories like your friends one, and I live in hope. I fear for him in this day and age, as his work ethic is non existent. I'm a single parent and cannot continue to keep him, just because he can't be bothered to work.

I guess I'm looking for some practical advice. I can't physically make him do anything. He has an older sister who's never been a problem. I must've gone wrong somewhere...