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Can't stop crying

11 replies

sosad12 · 11/08/2017 21:20

Have name changed. My dd and ds go to university in September - moving away. I adore them so much - I can't stop crying. Please help me to get a grip - I know it's irrational but it feels so sad. I'm spoiling everything- I literally cannot stop the tears.

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Mumteadumpty · 11/08/2017 22:03

It's not irrational at all. The thought of them leaving you is very sad. The reality is that they will be back every few weeks for Christmas/ Easter etc and maybe in between. There is a long running thread somewhere here about empty nesters, sorry I can't do links.

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sosad12 · 11/08/2017 22:40

Thanks - I'll look for it x

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ImperialBlether · 11/08/2017 22:43

The thing is, you can make this a fab experience for them or you can ruin it. I know you don't want to do that.

Think back to when you were 18 and ready to be let loose on the world. What support would you have wanted?

My children are in their twenties now and I found it hard when they left to go to university. I forced myself to only write happy messages about my life. I encouraged them to tell me what they were up to.

Fake it till you make it is my motto as far as this is concerned. They will know you'll miss them. They want to know you're OK so that they are free to take on their new lives. Do it for them.

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sosad12 · 11/08/2017 23:17

I'm honestly trying I just can't help it!

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chocatoo · 11/08/2017 23:27

Im dreading it when DD leaves. I think its important to keep busy. You dont want to spoil it for them. Faking it sounds good advice.

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OhOfCourse · 12/08/2017 08:27

Hi lovely.

This was me two years ago. DD is back nearly every weekend and to be honest is on holiday from uni more than she is there!

It's really fine to cry. Get it out your system. I channelled all my sadness into making sure DD had the nicest, comfiest room at uni. Nice bedding, good food, and showing her everything she need to survive. Made me feel better.

Give it a few weeks and you'll be fine x

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BigSandyBalls2015 · 12/08/2017 12:38

Are they twins?

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Crispsheets · 12/08/2017 13:36

It's ok to be upset and feel it's the end of an era...but not being able to stop crying is not normal behaviour.
It is going to be a fantastic experience for them....if you are crumbling and crying, it's going to impact them.
Do you work? Have friends, hobbies, social life?
My 2nd is off in September and I can't wait for him to go and have fun..I see how my daughter has grown up since she's been away.
I am looking forward to new things for me and see it as a positive.. .not a negative.

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Teenagedream · 12/08/2017 20:46

My twin DS and DD went to uni last year. I was dreading it but it was fine. They came home regularly, the holidays are long and we also visited them. Set up family FB msg for chats and funny stories.
They have been back here all summer. We all went on hols together. Not looking forward to them going back as also lost my dad in May (mum died 10yrs ago) so will be lonely but I know it will be fine.

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saltandvinegarcrisps1 · 13/08/2017 00:00

I wish it was us - our'es didn't do well enough so are staying at home and doing college rather than going to uni. I honestly wish they were leaving and going away to experience all the blasts and fun and excitement you get at uni. So U are being ABU in .making it about you but I can see where u are coming from

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sosad12 · 13/08/2017 09:49

Thanks to those of you who have been kind. I didn't ask if I was being unreasonable!