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Last year our youngest (19 now) took some LSD. He was very frightened and DW took him to hospital where they gave him some advice. He was also severely told off by us about the drugs as well ad for loading some dodgy software on to his laptop to do buy it and goodness knows what that lets hackers do.
A few weeks ago we were going to our other child's graduation and invited him to join us. We were going to be away for 2 nights. He declined.
On the day of departure an envelope arrived addressed to me with a tourist pamphlet in it (the same way drugs were delivered last time). The chemical is hidden inside the pamphlet.
He was being really helpful on the day, like can I help you pack etc (so we would go before the postman arrived).
1. Despite promising not to do drugs again, he waits until we are going away to have another go. We could have come back to a corpse.
2. He used my name to buy the drugs - something I am absolutely livid about.
3. He used the phone that I brought and pay for the line rental on to order the drugs. It is registered to me (I have to have a DBS check to do my job and if the letter was intercepted and I was blamed I WOULD lose my job).
4. We had to take him with us to the graduation and he ruined my other child's day by being in a right mood all of the time.
I wanted to call the police re the drugs when they arrived but DW persuaded me not to.
He is constantly rude to us and wont communicate without using obscenities including the "C" word, so it is really difficult to get to the bottom of what is wrong.
He never goes out and gave up his well paid part time job.
He is at college and wants to go to uni and has given the appearance of studying hard.
I'm just lost about what to do!
Erm. Think there is probably more going on here. ( I know it's hard when you are writing a post there isn't room for everything ! ) Some kids are just very different from their siblings maybe the older one is just perfect and it's obvious to him but maybe not you. He is 19 so experimenting but obviously as a parent you are terrified he will get seriously into this shit and ruin his life. Maybe trying saying it in a non angry way or get his mum to talk to him. I think you are being a bit dramatic about the phone line!
You are clearly a lister ( your numbered list of his deviations) and a sensible middle aged adult. Try to scroll back to being his age. I know you are worried because you care but when you're that age it's just your parents going on and on and on. There is no prescriptive answer just try and get him on your side ( if you can) I doubt he will respond to you losing your rag. Good luck.