I have been a single dad with sole care of my son since he was three & he is now about to turn nineteen soon.
We used to have a close/excellent relationship until we moved to a different town when he was twelve where my son made a new group of friends with kids from the worst kind of families. Unsurprisingly they all ended up weed smokers and my son had to be a leader of the pack and so enthusiastically embraced the nihilistic, screw everyone, sod education and the World mentality drug culture to impress all his peer group.
Now he is a nightmare !
I managed to battle with it until he was seventeen when we had to move seven miles away from that town and into some Godforsaken dump of a community - sort of a large artificially created modern ‘village’ mostly built in the 1950’s to provide accommodaation for workers in the adjacent industrial estate. This horrible place had first started in exactly the same way in Victorian times when a railway station was built here which they intended to be a major goods transport hub.
So Everything both my son & I do involves having to travel seven miles back and forth to the original town where all his friends are. This makes life impossible really as I have absolutely no money for transport. It’s five quid a time .
Anyway, during the past two years my son has become impossible to live with. I first noticed he would seem to make a point out of sabotaging meals. I always cook a ‘proper’ evening meal from scratch. He would either not turn up at all, stay away the night, arrive maybe 3 a.m., or even tell me he would be in for supper, arrive at an almost reasonable time ( maybe midnight, 11 p.m. if I was lucky) & then tell me actaully he wasn’t hungry as he had eaten elsewhere.
I began to notice - it became obvious really - that he was deliberately producing the maximum disruption on purpose. It was not possible to say it was any other way.
Then it became more and more obvious something was badly wrong as it became apparent I could never actually hold any form of conversation with him as he would turn his back as I was in mid sentence or hurl abuse at me for attempting to talk to him as ‘couldn’t I see he was in a hurry to go an meet someone’ or some similar rubbish.
This deliberately weird behaviour was nothing to do with me wanting to talk about ‘difficult’ issues. The behaviour would even occur if I was trying to ask him if he would like me give him twenty quid to spend as he pleased. He would never allow me to get far enough in such a conversation for him to even find out it was about an offer to give him twenty quid. I only actually deliberately tried doing this to prove to him how weirdly he was behaving.
Normally, of course, talking to him was about the millions of bits of everyday trivia in everyone’s domestic lives. He just blanked me about absolutely everything. Usually his method was to turn his back and walk or run away as though he was permanently in a ‘manic’ state.
The effect of this type of behaviour was to make life more and more unpleasant and him increasingly impossible to live with. The behaviour pattern was seemingly specially designed to simply produce instant rows over every single thing that I might need to say.
He organised one such row today which was nothing at all to do with anything. He has become very skilled at hijacking what I am actually saying and inventing complete blind ally cul de sacs which shatter any train of thought and make the conversation turn into senseless, incoherent gibberish which has nothing to do with what I am trying to say.
As all this has become increasingly unmanagable I have often snapped and told him I cannot cope with living with it any more & I will be forced to ask him to live elsewhere because I cannot cope with the endless nastiness of all this. That happened today.
Last week he finished life at College and today was supposed to be the first day he would make a serious start at looking for a job etc.
He did his usual thing of hijacking my brain and I just couln’t take it any more & told him to leave the house immediately and give me his front door key. I tried to unwind it, but he sabotaged all efforts to do that too; and so he left.
This means all he can do is sofa surf (hopefully) maybe he willl actually end up on the streets though. But he will not be able to sign on for any benefits which he will need immediately as he has no money and even if he tries to get a job there will be a gap before wages. But the reality is he is totally unequipped to go through the process of looking for a ‘proper’ job in such homeless circumstances.
I am at a total loss as to what to do. I probably foresaw this happening a long, long time ago as it is the inevitable result of the weed infected culture which destroys the minds of teenagers. I knew I was already losing the battle at least three years ago. His mind was remorselessly being taken over by this awful peer group brainwashing him that being drugged with weed all the time was a brilliant life choice.
Has anyone any advice on how I should progress from here ?
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Teenagers
My eighteen year old son has turned into a nightmare !
26 replies
rocketzoom · 01/08/2017 01:08
OP posts:
CaretakerToNuns ·
01/08/2017 01:32
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