I posted about this on aibu as we were wondering if it was fair to move house when ds is 2o and dd is 18 and both would really want us to stay in the family home when they are at uni so that they can come back to their long term family home ,see friends plus easily get work over the summer .
Dh and I have seen amazing long term home 17c cottage with view over sea in quite an isolated area . Dh really loves it .
I think the cottage is amazing and not many are in our price range there and we can only afford it as owner open to low offer due to personal circumstance s .
My dh can't quite retire yet as we want to support dc Thro uni and he has suggested that we buy the cottage but stay here in a Caravan ( rents too high if paying mortgage on the cottage ) and visit as much as can . He then wants to retire next summer which will mean ds has had 2 out of three years support at uni and dd one but from his pension lump sum give her the equivalent support that ds will have had (6k)
So this sorted practically .
The issue that is greatly worrying me is that the dc wd want us to stay here for continuity , sense of home and their friends as well as ability to get summer jobs . Ds at home from uni at mo and he is having great time seeing pals .
I'm really upset at the possibility of them not being able to come home and then poss be lonely in the new place say in a long summer , but at the same time I realise that the cottage is a long term life choice . I feel it is selfish as a parent to go for the cottage and affect my dc .. but if we lose the cottage .. and im going in circles here . I don't want to be at the cottage feeling guilty and bad about things - it wd spoil it . Delaying the actual move from our city is my suggestion - tho dh n I wd be in the caravan we cd pay for a holiday let for couple weeks of the summer in our city .. then they cd have time in cottage ..?
Wisdom please .
My instinct is to provide for dc and stay but dh has said some dc have had worse and tho it may unsettle them we shd thknk of ourselves ?
If I shd do that please tell he how to convince myself !!
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Both teens at uni in sept ... and we really want to move house ..
184 replies
ginorwine · 15/07/2017 23:10
OP posts:
hesterton ·
16/07/2017 07:28
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