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would you allow your 15 year old to start wearing flesh tunnels?

(32 Posts)
Gatekeeper Tue 04-Jul-17 17:12:15

I really don't like the look of them one bit but dd is enamoured and has bought a few pairs in increasing sizes even though I had previously said 'no'. She has pierced her own nose (septum and nostril bit) and has done Indian ink tattoos which I went spare at. I don't know id I should just allow her to do it

curlylocks101 Tue 04-Jul-17 17:16:06

I'd let her - I had small tunnels in my lobes for a few years and they're now hardly any bigger than normal piercings. Perhaps you could allow than in return for no more DIY piercings, if you're not keen on those?

Gatekeeper Tue 04-Jul-17 17:17:09

Should I accept that she doesn't want ti dress conventionally and let her get on with the eartinnel things ? Thanks

DancesWithOtters Tue 04-Jul-17 17:20:59

I would allow it.

Though warn her about the cost of corrective surgery if she changes her mind in ten years and needs to have her saggy earlobes reduced.

Blackbutler86 Tue 04-Jul-17 17:26:55

I would let her, my parents were extremely strict when it came to things like this in my teens and I just went and did it anyway. It caused numerous rows and problems because they always said no to everything. I'm 30 now and still have a flesh tunnel plus numerous piercings and tattoos. She may grow out of it when she gets older or she may not, if my parents had been more accepting of me I'm sure I would have a far better relationship with them now.

SheWhoLivesHere Tue 04-Jul-17 17:31:59

My parents allowed me to have any piercings i wanted, and flesh tunnels. I did my experimenting and now as a 30 year old i have nothing except normal pierced ears (tunnels shrunk). I never got any tattoos.

In comparison i have friends who have lots of tattoos and piercings and a big draw for them was how 'forbidden' they were.

I'm not saying it's this was for everyone but that's my experience and i would let her experiment and not make a big deal out of it.

Maudlinmaud Tue 04-Jul-17 17:36:40

Hmmmm I guess your have to don't you. I wouldn't be happy about it but I'd bite my tongue. Teenagers always know far more than their parents who where never young.

Gatekeeper Tue 04-Jul-17 17:38:09

Thank you everyone, you have given me something to think about

pinkyredrose Tue 04-Jul-17 20:58:14

She did her own Indian ink tattoos?! shock for that level of stupidity I'd definitely say no to any other body mods ever!

How old is she?

user1486076969 Tue 04-Jul-17 21:02:26

I'm so old I've just had to look up what a 'flesh tunnel' is shock. No would be my immediate reaction, however I appreciate it's not so clear cut with teenagers grin.

pinkyredrose Tue 04-Jul-17 21:07:00

Oh I just saw she's 15. I'd be far more concerned about the tats. She sounds like an immature Muppet, sorry OP.

Fifthtimelucky Tue 04-Jul-17 23:01:37

I had to look them up too! Personally I don't like them (along with most piercings and all tattoos) but know I am rather old-fashioned about this). I was surprised that there were so few rules on under 18s having piercings done. Will her school have any views I'm this? Will she take them out for sport ?

Crumbs1 Tue 04-Jul-17 23:58:17

No we didn't allow any of ours to mutilate their bodies in any way until they were over 16 (single pair earrings) and it would have been 18'for any other self induced deformities - tattoos or piercings. Fortunately, they all entirely agree and only the girls have earring and only one set each.

Agoddessonamountaintop Wed 05-Jul-17 00:04:53

She's bought 'a few pairs' of the stretcher things (don't know what they're called)? Sounds like that particular horse has well and truly bolted.

GrainOfSalt Wed 05-Jul-17 00:15:46

I'd discourage it as it will exclude her from certain professions - can't even get into the army unless you have them fixed shock - looking online it can pose real problems when trying to get just any job.

If she's going to go ahead anyway then I think (but don't rely on this please check yourself) that under 10mm the holes will close up naturally, over 10mm they won't.

BlueAnemone Wed 05-Jul-17 00:18:44

I also had to check what flesh tunnels are. This led me to seeing images of a guy with holes in his cheeks that are big enough to show his teeth while popping his tongue out. I really hope there's a minimum age limit for that.

Alisvolatpropiis Wed 05-Jul-17 00:23:47

I'd be fine with standard piercings but not tunnels.

WyfOfBathe Wed 05-Jul-17 00:28:00

I wouldn't allow tunnels until 18, I think. That was my parents' rule, and by the time I was 18 I had mainly lost interest, despite being desperate for various piercings and tattoos when I was about 14.

HeadfirstForHalos Wed 05-Jul-17 00:40:20

No way. Dd is 15 in September , I've agreed she can have an upper helix piercing at the start of the summer hols. I wouldn't allow a body modification like flesh tunnels though, it's more permanent, and I've seen a few young people with horrific ears after taking them out.
If dd had tattooed herself, I wouldn't allow any piercings for her stupidity!

HeadfirstForHalos Wed 05-Jul-17 00:44:18

Also, is she allowed them at school? They're banned at my dcs school.

Hidingtonothing Wed 05-Jul-17 00:47:08

I like most forms of body mod but I would say no at 15.

TheCraicDealer Wed 05-Jul-17 01:03:19

I would go spare but deep down the PPs who advise to let her to crack on are right.

My main issue would be the DIY aspect of a lot of her "modding". Just takes one mishap or infection and she's scarred for life. The comprise for me would be allowing her to do it but only by a legit professsional after she'd shown me research into aftercare and the best person to go to locally.

TheCraicDealer Wed 05-Jul-17 01:04:50

Meant to add- she's 15, so if she has to wait a few months until someone reputable will see her then that's part of making a mature and considered decision.

nooka Wed 05-Jul-17 06:26:06

No, I think they are horrible. I'd discourage any teenager from making permanent, very visible modifications until they were old enough to really consider the possible consequences. I'm not sure what the OP can do about her dd's modifications though as she seems to be a fan of the DIY approach.

Sparklingbrook Wed 05-Jul-17 06:31:32

I think they are horrible too. They turn my stomach. A lot of jobs won't allow them either so they have to take them out meaning they have a huge hole in their earlobe instead. Which isn't much better.

I am v pleased that so far my two teens feel the same as I do.

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