Would you be annoyed with dd spending this money?

(11 Posts)
Dancergirl Fri 23-Jun-17 10:00:57

Dd is 16 and just finished her GCSEs. She's had a few days out with friends shopping etc.

She went to Westfield last week with just one friend. She had some money to spend and I gave her a bit extra. She bought mostly make up, skincare etc, not massively expensive stuff, all fine.

Yesterday she did a bigger Westfield trip with a bigger group of friends. She didn't have any money left but needed clothes (she really does need clothes!) so I gave her £60 (also to include lunch). When she asked if she could buy other stuff with the £60 I was a bit vague as we were in a rush.

Anyway she came home having spent £45 on more make up and skincare! Couldn't find any clothes she likes apparently.

For context she doesn't get a huge monthly allowance - we give her £20/month (split between saving and spending accounts) and we pay for her phone, clothes, anything school related and toiletries. And we always give her extra anyway.

I'm not sure how to deal with this now. I think it was a bit cheeky of her to spend so much on make up especially when she'd recently bought stuff. But on the other hand we didn't really discuss it properly.

Maybe I should increase her allowance to a sensible amount and not give her any more?


OP’s posts: |
FauxFox Fri 23-Jun-17 10:05:49

As long as you don't spend more money on clothes it's her choice. She'll surely have to buy her own clothes now she's blown her budget on other things or manage with what she has?

Dancergirl Fri 23-Jun-17 10:09:28

faux I have ordered some things online for her to try at home. This was at her request and she chose everything. They'll be arriving in the next day or two.

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CrewsInn Fri 23-Jun-17 10:12:13

Maybe if you have her an proper monthly allowance to cover everything including clothes she would have to learn to budget?
I did this from about age 14.

Dancergirl Fri 23-Jun-17 10:13:51

How much would you suggest to cover everything?

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FauxFox Fri 23-Jun-17 10:17:04

Why have you bought her clothes when she spent her budget?

She needs to get a part time job. My mum used to give me my Child Benefit which was for everything except school clothes and basic toiletries and I worked from age 14 - it's a wonderful feeling to earn money and buy your own things smile

Dancergirl Fri 23-Jun-17 10:19:53

I did the online order before she went shopping. She is very fussy with clothes so I knew most of it would probably be going back.

She does do a bit of babysitting as and when asked. I don't think she's work shy. She did actually want to get a job this summer but she's doing NCS and then we're on holiday so not much time.

OP’s posts: |


DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen Fri 23-Jun-17 10:23:10

She asked if she could spend it on other stuff. At that point I'd have grilled her as to what she wanted to buy.

I think it was miscommunication.

Make a list of clothes she needs ,either go with her or give her the money to buy it herself and make it clear that the money is just for clothes on the list.

Ds is 16, he has 20 a month plus we pay his SIM card and gym membership. He usually finds something on line and we order it together if he needs something. Basics are from Primark to keep cost down.

CrewsInn Fri 23-Jun-17 14:37:43

You have to decide what an allowance covers.
When mine were about 14 I worked out an allowance by roughly adding up what I spent on clothes for a year, added a bit for entertainment and for a small giffgaff PAYG. Then I divided by 12 and paid it monthly.
They had bank accounts and paid phone by DD.
The only thing I didn't include was replacing big winter coats or sports equipment.
They never asked for extra, in fact they didn't spend it all. When faced with buying a new t shirt using their own money they'd rather see it in the bank. grin.
At 16 they both got a very small part time job, but I didn't reduce their allowances.

Dancergirl Fri 23-Jun-17 19:36:46

Thank you. Will have a think about increasing her allowance. What would you do this time, make her repay me from her savings account or let it go?

OP’s posts: |
TondelayaDellaVentamiglia Fri 23-Jun-17 19:42:44

you should have made it clear there was £60 for clothes OR spends, not both.

by my reckoning she has £15 left for clothes, and can pick something from the order already placed. If she wants more than that value she'll have to come up with a plan for how to fund it/repay you.

And then get an allowance ( and rules) sorted smartly!

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