DD is nearly 13. She is quietly confident and her self esteem has always seemed good, but she is the sort of person who prefers to blend into the background rather than being in the spotlight.
She is white, with the kind of fair skin that doesn't really tan (this is relevant). She has medium brown, slightly auburn hair. The girls in her close friendship group all come from families of South Asian or Middle Eastern origin.
It was a hot, sunny weekend where we are, and she told me that she wants to get a tan so she doesn't look so different from her friends. She feels that she stands out in group photos & selfies. She feels self-conscious.
I asked her if anyone has ever said anything about her skin colour, and she said that they occasionally snake observations about how pale she is, but not in a horrible way.
I pointed out that she is not the only white girl in her class, and she says that the others are blonde, so it's OK for them to be pale. I have spoken to her about sun safety for her type of skin, and she has agreed not to try to get a tan. I said that she could use fake tan when she's older, but that her skin colour is perfect for her, and that I hope she will learn to love it.
Is there anything else I can do to help her to accept herself the way she is? Or is this self-consciousness about appearance just an inevitable part of being an adolescent?
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DD self-conscious about skin colour
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TheSecondOfHerName · 20/06/2017 22:45
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