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15 yr and alcohol

(20 Posts)
Sweetnsalty Fri 16-Jun-17 19:12:02

Dd wants permission to drink couple of beers with friends. I'm torn. I can't keep her home and away from friends indefinitely. I'm pleased she is asking but she's 15. She will also do it anyway without my permission. I r ally don't know what to do for the best.

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troodiedoo Fri 16-Jun-17 19:13:50

Is it a party?

Sweetnsalty Fri 16-Jun-17 19:20:07

A small social gathering with his friends.

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Sweetnsalty Fri 16-Jun-17 19:21:11

They're a group of friends. It's not a special ocassion .

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Sweetnsalty Fri 16-Jun-17 19:22:37

They've just started socialising as a group of girls and boys but known each other since primary school.

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troodiedoo Fri 16-Jun-17 19:26:03

Well you can say you're against it and remind him it's illegal. Or you can say you're not happy but accept that he will do it so just be sensible. Or you can say enjoy yourself and look forward to cleaning up sick later. A lot of people seem to go with the latter these days.

Do you think he'll go too far?

He may also be asking because he wants you to forbid it.

BloodWorries Fri 16-Jun-17 19:26:36

Has she had any alcohol at home before?

If this is her first time I'd encourage her to not drink this time, but to maybe have a bottle at home with family first.

I'm not saying it's right for a 15 year old to be drinking, but the reality is that kids will and do drink. At least if she's at home the first few times she can learn the effects of alcohol in a safer environment with you around. And it might help her open up to talking about knowing your limits and staying safe.

If she does already drink at home then I don't see an issue with it (apart from it being illegal and harmful... but she's going to do it regardless).

Will there be any adults around? Encourage her to call you at any point if she needs to. Better to be phoned to collect her in a state than for her to wide up in trouble.

troodiedoo Fri 16-Jun-17 19:29:13

Sorry just re read that it's dd not ds, apologies!

Sweetnsalty Fri 16-Jun-17 19:30:05

She's had small beers at special ocassions.

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MatchsticksForMyEyes Fri 16-Jun-17 19:30:26

If my Y11 form are anything to go by, it does not teach them to know their limits. I've heard tales of them helping friends to the loo who are too drunk, people being carried out to their parent's car, weekend-long hangovers...

Sweetnsalty Fri 16-Jun-17 19:49:31

I'm with you match but what's the options. I can say no and she will do it anyway. I'd rather she continued to be honest with me. Then nothing comes as a surprise. I've said no tonight but she's out with friends and I'm positive she will drink anyway. It's so difficult having teens!!!!

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Mylittlestsunshine Fri 16-Jun-17 19:54:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mylittlestsunshine Fri 16-Jun-17 19:55:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

troodiedoo Fri 16-Jun-17 19:57:23

Make sure you tell her shots are not fun and will make you very ill. My 16 year old dd learnt this the hard way new years eve and hasn't drunk since.

leonardthelemming Fri 16-Jun-17 20:26:22

If she does already drink at home then I don't see an issue with it (apart from it being illegal and harmful... but she's going to do it regardless).

Is it illegal? If it's at a private house then surely it's OK from age five? Different matter if they are going to be in a public place though...

Sweetnsalty Fri 16-Jun-17 20:37:21

Definitely public place or friends house. She has a 9pm curfew.. I'm not allowing drinking at home. I've allowed it at family functions supervised. But just special I ocassion

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FanSpamTastic Fri 16-Jun-17 20:38:32

It is not illegal for a 15 year old to have alcohol.

law here

I have a 15 year old too. We have discussed alcohol, we have let her try different types at home (small sips not whole glasses!). We have talked about why people drink. We have talked about parties and dangers of too much alcohol. So far her peer group don't seem to be in to drinking at parties.

We have pointed out that it is illegal for her to try and buy alcohol or for other people to buy alcohol for under 18s. But we have not forbidden it. Like you I would rather they felt they could talk about it to us.

Sweetnsalty Fri 16-Jun-17 20:44:10

Thanks Fan.

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Allthebestnamesareused Fri 16-Jun-17 20:46:26

My DS is out tonight and I have said I would rather he didn't but if he must could he limit it to one beer.

He had some beers with friends at a "gathering" here (which seems to be the current terminology) and didn't handle it well (even with me here! Only had a couple then). I reminded him of this and he has said he probably won't have any.

I suspect he might but at least the dialogue is open. He also knows that he is more likely to be allowed to go if he tells the truth about what is going on rather than lying and then me finding out there was beer there after - which means he won't go next time!

Angelicinnocent Fri 16-Jun-17 21:08:09

My DD is 15. Rule for parties in her peer group is you bring your own, other parents don't provide and it's a 2 drink maximum. Any more will be confiscated and returned to your parents when they collect you. Seems to work.

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