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Teenage boy nearly 15 off the rails

(6 Posts)
EmmieShep Tue 13-Jun-17 11:23:42

Looking for advice and support. I have a 14 nearly 15 year old son who yesterday got caught shoplifting, last night it transpired that this was not the first time.

He obviously has been read the riot act, had phone etc.. taken off of him. Had another call from the police today arranging to see him on Sunday, they think that this has happened quite a few times and the shop is currently going back through the footage, also appears he was working with a decoy. They will be seeing him Sunday, reading him the riot act and then the youth offending service will be involved.

I contacted the school, they have said they were about to get in touch as he has been increasingly rude and showing off at school. His head of year has said this is a problem with the friendship group, they think they are the big men of the school. They are placing him on report.

1. I am devastated, he has a good home, parents and grandparents, an older sister at uni, and also a baby brother.

I have no idea what to expect from youth offending, what if there are multiple incidents?

We have come down on him so hard and will be maintaining that for the foreseeable. I am terrified he is going to completely cock up. sad

Any advice welcome

OP’s posts: |
Iluvthe80s Tue 13-Jun-17 19:59:17

Really sorry to hear you are having a tough time with your son.
We have issues with our DS, although not shoplifting.....that I'm aware of !

Have you noticed any changes in his attitude at home? Just wondered apart from the friendship group, whether there is anything else that may have lead to this change in him?

And our DS also comes from a loving home too, with lots of family who support him, so try not to beat yourself up about this, but regain some control of the situation. will he open up to you about what has been going on? Hopefully some other parents on here, who can offer you some practical advice!

ggirl Tue 13-Jun-17 20:20:04

EmmieShep- gosh sorry you're having such a worrying time with your son. I have son same age and really feel for you.

What is it he is stealing? I'm wondering if he's selling to others , maybe being forced to?? Has he been involved with drugs etc? How well do you know his friends?

I agree with pp , he needs keeping away from this bad influence and can only wish you luck .

agnesf Wed 14-Jun-17 02:12:48

Its easy for boys of this age to think they are invincible. I don't think they think through the consequences in the same way as an adult. I would hope that the police just want to give him a warning and this will be enough for him to realise that this is serious and not just a joke.

Scary for you too - I really sympathise.

As well as discipline can you get him to fill his spare time in more constructive ways? Does he like sport or music? Could you get him involved with a sport club or rock group? Or maybe he could do some jobs at home to earn money for something he really wants? You need to set the boundaries but as his nearest and dearest adults you need to give him some chances to put things right.

Aquamarine1029 Thu 15-Jun-17 02:32:18

Get him into therapy AS SOON AS FUCKING POSSIBLE. He has issues and he needs a professional to help him deal with them.

Penfold007 Thu 15-Jun-17 07:17:39

What has been going on in his life, especially things out of his control? New baby means he has list his long held position as the youngest, it may also indicate a relationship break up and introduction to a new man. He may be struggling to cope with these challenges. Some type of counselling would be a good idea. As for the shoplifting, you are going to have to wait and see what action the police will take. Sorry you are facing this.

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