My DS 14 in the last week has hit DD11 hard in the back of the head twice, and left bruises on her arm and leg. Each time it has happened suddenly with next to no warning. He has anxiety and social issues (he's been referred by school for possible autism spectrum). He understands boundaries and that what he has done is unacceptable, but feels justified by the fact that she is annoying. In our experience sanctions do not work as he acts on an eye for an eye basis (eg we confiscate his computer he takes something of ours he knows is valuable) and they also ratchet up his anxiety levels resulting in a worsening of his behaviour (smashing up the house, aggressive swearing and shouting, more intimidation and violence). He only goes out to go to school so grounding is pointless. I should say his behaviour at school is good.
We feel so alone - we need to protect her and she has a right to feel safe at home. I'm concerned about the impact it could have on her emotionally as well as the potential that he could really harm her physically. Part of me wishes he was just hurting us instead.
But underneath all the sh** he is quite emotionally vulnerable and needy - I don't want to just give up on him. I am so worn down and it is affecting my relationship with DH. He keeps telling me we should think about putting him into care. It could tear our family apart and I don't know where to go- how can you tell friends or family about it - they don't really understand.
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DS physically abusing DD. What do I do next...?
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Happymonster · 20/05/2017 14:17
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