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Out of my depth on dating rules!

(12 Posts)
Kalisilver1 Mon 15-May-17 09:13:01

My 15yo girl has just met a 17yo boy. Seems nice and I'm ok with it but he has just invited her to a party in the town where he lives and said she can stay over. Now I don't want to come across as prudish and I don't want to stop her going to the party but is it unreasonable to say no to her staying over and offering to pick her up at 11 pm? Any advice welcome 😊

HeyMacWey Mon 15-May-17 09:15:15

Not unreasonable at all.
She's just met him.
I wouldn't let my teens stay over till they'd been dating a good few months and were at least 16.

Justmadeperfectflapjacks Mon 15-May-17 09:15:16

No stay over. .
Say 11 but be prepared to compromise to 12. .
She is underage.
Alcohol and underage not good. . .
Rest assured there will be alcohol. .

TrishanFlips Mon 15-May-17 09:17:03

Definitely too young to stay over. Pick her up at 11:00. Also speak to boy's parents to make sure it is all safe and legit.

Highalert Mon 15-May-17 09:18:48

I would say 11 and let her talk me into 12.

MrsJayy Mon 15-May-17 09:20:27

Pick her up at 11 12 at a push she will probably sulk but you dont need to worry about that

BigSandyBalls2015 Mon 15-May-17 09:22:04

Too young, pick her up. 11 is a bit early though

DancingLedge Mon 15-May-17 09:22:37

Yes to party.
Yes pick her up at eleven.
Yes talk about alcohol, in advance,. Tipsy when you pick up ,one thing. Wasted, expect to get grounded.
Have you had the talk? Sex and STDs and safe sex and consent, and no if he says"if you loved me, you would" - to which the only possible answer is no, fuck off.
Oh, happy times..

Kalisilver1 Mon 15-May-17 09:46:07

Thanks for the replies. I'm lucky with her in the fact that we can talk openly about sex, alcohol, drug, contraception etc. She also knows that 'wasted' means grounded and all niceties stopped. I just remember how I was at that age (hence my panic) and want to get the balance right to continue a good mum/daughter relationship that doesn't turn into world war 3 😂

MrsJayy Mon 15-May-17 09:53:42

She will probably think you are being a party pooper but that is ok she might strop say you dont trust her blah blah , you dont really know the boyfriend very well she is 15 she needs to be home

DancingLedge Mon 15-May-17 10:00:18

Big difference between a boundary that they kick against, briefly slam doors about etc, and WW3.

Sounds like you',re doing fantastic if there's open communication with 15 yr old.

I used to get a lot of flak from DD2 in this sort of situation, but you know what. even though she would never have admitted it, the vibe I got from her was sometimes one of relief. On some level, she knew perfectly well that the thing she proposed could have led to situations that would have been potentially very difficult for her to handle.

MrsJayy Mon 15-May-17 10:05:14

I think you are right dancingledge they need to have boundries to kick against I am passed all that but you can have a good relationship with dc and still say no.

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