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Never give for special days,

(6 Posts)
Mummmy2017 Sat 13-May-17 08:37:42

I have to DD's 15 and 20, single mum.

My children have grown up watching me never miss in giving my parents something on the high days, and no never a lot, just special silly gifts, to show I care. Always gave DD's a cake , card and gifts.

I almost never get a card, unless I remind them and hand over the money I never get a gift, no breakfast in bed or they do my chores on the day, it hurts they just don't seem to care about doing this for me.

Eldest went to see her dad on his brithday and got his special gifts, I got a card. Just been my birthday, no cards no gifts nothing.

They are both so loving towards me, but this hurts and ever year it's the same,

emochild Sat 13-May-17 17:20:07

That's tough -one of mine is the same and the other used to be but went to the trouble of making me a cake and a card last birthday

How long have you been a single parent and has anyone ever taken them to get you something?
I know you said they see you buying for others but that doesn't necessarily translate to them buying for you

You will get people saying to stop buying for them but I would continue to keep being a good role model -but also let them know it hurts

LightYears Sat 13-May-17 17:22:24

My sons the same, they'll realise when they get older you see.

DelphiniumBlue Sat 13-May-17 17:28:26

Tell them. Tell them now that you were really upset that they didn't mark your birthday, that next year you want it to be different.
And then about a month before, start talking about your birthday, eg where you'd like to go, what you'd like to do, what presents you'd like, what your favourite cake is. Tell them again you'll be upset if you don't get treated on the day.
And if next time there's still nothing, then you might need to decide to do things differently on their birthdays.

sheepskinshrug Sat 13-May-17 20:19:06

I'd have a chat with them about expectations for birthdays - do they see you as someone who doesn't have needs?

BIWI Sat 13-May-17 20:22:01

OK. Next time it's their birthday - or even Christmas - don't give them anything. (Or pretend not to; have stuff that you've hidden away and can give them later if you really have to.)

See how that makes them feel. And then explain that that's how you've felt every single birthday.

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