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Prom Date

6 replies

InvisibleAt53 · 04/05/2017 16:47

OK, seems a silly thing to talk about but ....

My DD has been invited to her prom by a boy she is just friends with. I say just friends - they sit together in one of their classes and seem to enjoy each other's company.

She was delighted when he asked her but since then, he's barely spoken to her and it's proving to be really hurtful for her although she's full of bravado (he doesn't deserve me, he's weird etc.)

She messaged him on FB, just saying hi, how was he and they exchanged a few friendly exchanges but since then, he hasn't spoken to her or even looked in her direction. He's still telling his friends they're going to the prom together.

Someone who knows him better said he just likes to keep himself to himself.

She doesn't want to hurt him by saying she doesn't want to go with him anymore but she doesn't want to get to prom day and find he's nowhere to be seen.

I told her to just ask him outright but she says that's chasing after him and I do believe her but I don't want the guy to give her the runaround.

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SmurfPants · 04/05/2017 16:49

If she doesn't want to ask him then leave them to it, they're teenagers being awkward teenagers

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Silverdream · 05/05/2017 06:57

He's doing what most kids do. They ask each other. Turn up have a couple of pictures together then go off with their friends.
It's not a start of a relationship type thing it's just I need a partner , will you be my partner.
It's teen stuff.

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traviata · 05/05/2017 10:54

He sounds shy and not quite as mature as your DD. They just have different expectations.

He appears to think that he's done his bit by asking her and getting a positive answer, and your DD understandably sounds as though she wants to chat about it, enjoy the anticipation, and have more of a connection with him.
has she got a friend who could ask him why he's giving her the cold shoulder?

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InvisibleAt53 · 05/05/2017 19:16

Yes, they have mutual friends an she's going to broach the subject with them (but doesn't want to look "needy"!

She is mature and thinks she's not asking too much for him to at least chat about it a little. His friends actually asked him, in the class they were both in together, whether he was going with her and he said yes because he thinks she'll be fun and they will have a good time.

But no direct conversations.

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Wecks · 06/05/2017 10:47

Based on my experience of my two very shy DSs.
Also remember 16 year old boys are much less mature than 16 year old girls.
A Prom "date" isn't actually a date. They don't even travel to the prom together, they meet up, walk up the red carpet for a photo and that's it for most of them.
DS1 paired up with a girl from his friendship group. DS2 with a girl I'd never even heard of and he didn't know very well. Both boys liaised with the girl re outfits - handkerchief to match the girl's frock etc.
They have lovely photos but that's all!