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Teenage contraception

(47 Posts)
Funnyfarmer Thu 04-May-17 11:11:30

Just want a bit of a moan really and maybe some advice.
My dd is 16. She has been in a relationship for 4 years now. Her bf turns 16 in July. So we both think now is a good time to get the ball rolling as far as contraception is concerned.
I've just phoned our own gp surgery and our local sexual health clinic
She would have to attend a drop in centre during school hours.
Then attend a consultation with a nurse. Also in school hours.
Then if she decides to go for something like an implant or a coil. She would have to go back again during school hours. Because that's the only time they deal with contraception!
I asked do they do a clinic especially for teenage contraception? They said "no because of funding"
She's got her GCSE's coming up and really can't afford to take the time off school. The clinic is about 4 miles away from the school and with the 1st step being a drop in its going to take up quite a lot of her school day.
Surely there should be more facilities of teenage contraception?

OP’s posts: |
Justmadeperfectflapjacks Thu 04-May-17 11:15:26

Get there for it opening. .
Before its too late. .

AuntieStella Thu 04-May-17 11:21:09

I think it must depend where you live for what hours are available,

Have you tried your GP, a Brooke, the FPA as well as the clinic you mentioned?

Are they actually having sex yet?

When does her study leave start? Because unless she has none at all, you could probably find a time when she's not required to be in school. Or if no study leave, make an appointment for a non-exam day (non-specific medical absense from school)

Pardonwhatnow Thu 04-May-17 11:22:53

Half term, study leave, summer holidays.

Gallavich Thu 04-May-17 11:23:48

GP surgeries can do contraceptives and they do after school appointments

Funnyfarmer Thu 04-May-17 11:34:06

She has 1 week half term coming up. But she won't be able to get referral, consultation and procedure done in one week. Plus she is still expected to attend school for revision during holidays.
There not having sex yet as he is still 15.
Our own gp doesn't do implants or coils. Only the pill. And I would prefer something a little more permanent that she doesn't really have think about.

OP’s posts: |
Funnyfarmer Thu 04-May-17 11:36:42

The clinic I mentioned is all those things rolled into one @AuntieStella

OP’s posts: |
Funnyfarmer Thu 04-May-17 11:42:48

We're still going to go. I'm just disappointed she will have to miss some school. That could be really crucial. Especially because there could be up to 4 appointments
Drop in
Consultation
Fitting
Follow up check.
I just thought they would do something outside of office hours. Especially because it's a drop in. Thought the whole point of a drop in was just that. You can drop in whenever you like

OP’s posts: |
Spam88 Thu 04-May-17 11:43:29

What about getting the pill from the GP for now and looking at an implant/coil in the summer holidays?

Funnyfarmer Thu 04-May-17 11:47:10

That's what I thinking @spam. Might be the best course of action. It's just getting her to remember to take it.
I think she will though. You can set reminders on your phone nowadays. And of course I'll help to remind her.

OP’s posts: |
Itmustbemyage Thu 04-May-17 13:46:22

And I would prefer something a little more permanent that she doesn't really have think about

You do realise it's your daughter's body and her choice not yours?
You seem to have made your mind up and that is where all the multiple appointments are coming from.
If she is 16 and is considering having sex she should be able to make an appointment for herself at the GP go to one appointment, alone if she chooses, get the pill and see how she gets on with it.
You sound overly involved in this IMO.

Petalbird Thu 04-May-17 14:01:27

Why is it really that urgent? Surely she can decide when or if she wants to use prescribed contraception and plan getting it herself. Not even sure the more invasive ones are on option for 16 year old's

Spam88 Thu 04-May-17 14:12:28

The GP will be able to discuss all the options with her as well (even if they can't offer them all) so she can get a better idea of what she wants. I always think starting with the pill is food anyway as it's the easiest to stop if she finds the side effects too much.

Funnyfarmer Thu 04-May-17 18:34:14

@Itmustbemyage dd and I have discussed it together. And it's what she wants. She's worried about forgetting to take the pill. I've asked if she would prefer to go on her own or with her bf. She said she wants to with me. I don't think one can never be "too involved " when it comes to your teenagers contraception.
@Petalbird. It isn't that urgent at the moment. As I said her bf isn't 16 untill July. We just want to get the ball rolling. And of course it's her decision. She's asked me about the different options that are available and we both like the idea of her having the implant.
I just thought there would be more options in our local area for teenagers to get contraception without missing school or messing about going to clinic that arn't local. Some teenagers can't talk to the parents about this sort of thing. If my dd felt she couldn't talk to me or any other adult. She would probably struggle to get hold of it

OP’s posts: |
saltandvinegarcrisps1 Fri 05-May-17 10:39:00

Have you googled Brook advisory etc to see if there is one near you? Local family planning centres? I find it hard to believe in this day and age there is nothing for teens around where you are. My DD started on the pill a short while ago and at the teen health clinic (13 - 17 years), they had a special clinic for under 13s (which is really sad really). They wouldnt do the injection for under 18s as it can interfere with bone growth. Not sure about the implant or the coil.

PortiaCastis Fri 05-May-17 10:42:09

Christ it's your dds body not yours and I think she'd be horrified about you discussing her personal information

Funnyfarmer Fri 05-May-17 12:41:16

@saltandvinegarcrisps1 yes. The nearest one is 6 miles away. So not necessarily out of reach. But I've never heard of them and dd hasn't either. The dr's or the clinic never mentioned it either. So if she was left the her own devices about this which some people seem to think I should. She would never thought to go by herself.
Also if I hadn't discussed it on here I would never know about it either.
@PortiaCastis i know its her body. I'm really not trying to control this. I'm trying to help. She's my dd and she's asked me to help.
Would people really rather bother and just left them both to it?
Yes she would be horrified. She's 16. She's horrified by everything do.
She has decided herself it's time to start thinking about contraception. From what I gather. I think they're planing on prom night to be "the night"
It was her who decided that she doesn't think the pill is the best option.

OP’s posts: |
specialsubject Fri 05-May-17 22:19:21

I am impressed with your open communications!

But grown up games mean grown up choices. So the big knickers/pants down day does need to wait until the contraception is in place. Wait until summer hols. There are always condoms but they need something else too.

As they've been together since childhood and are still so young, it is unlikely to last so even more reason to be very careful.

Fedupoftheheat Fri 05-May-17 22:29:42

Where abouts are you? Our local clinic is open until 8 every night and on a Saturday. I think starting on the pill initially then maybe an implant or injection when you can get her there, providing that's what she wants.
As for PP saying it's her body and you seem over invested, what rubbish. Better to have an interested mum than one who won't discuss contraception at all.

Funnyfarmer Fri 05-May-17 23:04:02

Maybe waiting until summer hols isn't such a bad idea. She's a very sensible girl. They've waited this long. A few more months won't hurt. Sometimes I feel like getting her contraception is a green light. Not that I can really keep the red light up for ever. (Wish I could)
Also I can't help worrying that he might be like " we're both 16 now. Your covered for contraception so what's stopping us?"
But that might just be me thinking she's still my baby and she actually doesn't have any desires and its all him. When deep down I know that's not true.
They're both very mature physically and tbh emotionally they've both been "ready" for a while.
I know she's growing up and it scares me to death.
But if she does have to grow up I just want her to it safely and irresponsibly.
As I said before. I'm just more shocked the facilities arn't a bit better. She said she's never even had a nurse in school she can talk to about it. They've has sex education in like year 9. But since most of her year group have come of age this school year. I would have thought they would have had talks about contraception and how to obtain it.

OP’s posts: |
SignoraStronza Fri 05-May-17 23:15:57

Berluddy he'll, I'd have been horrified if my mother had been so invested in my contraceptive choices or future hmm sex life.
Why can't she catch a bus/train/bike/lift to the local family planning clinic and sort it out herself? If she's mature enough to be having sex, surely she can sort herself out. Most community hospitals have one - she can google it, or the GP surgery staff should be able to point her in the right direction.

It won't be long before she's potentially off to uni - will you still be micro managing then? Sorry OP, this is absolutely cringe inducing to read.

Funnyfarmer Fri 05-May-17 23:26:37

She can do. But she's asked me if I will go with her. Really don't see what's wrong with that. I usually go to the doctors with her.
I don't see how me accompanying my dd to the doctors is micro managing?.
So when you was 16 and still at school your mother has no interest in your contraception?
We're close. We talk. She asks my advise on many things.
I'm not going to pretend the conversation wasn't awkward. But it's definitely a conversation that needs to be had.

OP’s posts: |
Funnyfarmer Fri 05-May-17 23:29:34

"Why can't she catch a bus/train/bike/lift to the local family planning clinic and sort it out herself"

That's what my post is about!
There is no local family planning clinics that operate out of school hours

OP’s posts: |
DeleteOrDecay Fri 05-May-17 23:36:14

Op's dd asked her to help and attend appointments with her. I really don't see what's so wrong with that. In fact I think it's wonderful op that you and your dd have such an open and honest relationship and that you are supporting her as best you can rather than shutting her down or leaving her to get on with it. Contraception can be a minefield for grown adults, let alone a 16 year old.

Things might have changed since I was at school but do they still get study leave? I know it's supposed to be for studying but could she take some time out to get it sorted then? The sooner the better imo.

AndNoneForGretchenWieners Fri 05-May-17 23:38:30

To answer your question, So when you was 16 and still at school your mother has no interest in your contraception? no, and I would have been mortified if my mother had stuck her nose in. It's nice that you have that relationship, but as a teen I thought I knew it all and had no intention of discussing my sex life with my parents. When my boyfriend told my parents we had a sexual relationship during an argument, I could have curled up and died of embarrassment.

Do you have a walk in centre near to you? Our walk in centre has a sexual health clinic that operates until 9pm on weekdays (for people who work during the day). Is that an option?

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