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H & M nearly killed my daughter

(105 Posts)
motherofteen1 Tue 02-May-17 18:33:18

When my daughter was suffering from an eating disorder, she got desperately thin. At under 6 stone, and looking gaunt and close to hospitalisation, we went to H & M to buy some jeans, and found that the size 6 were snug. She then decided that she needed to lose more weight as she wanted to be a size 6. On closer inspection H&M SIZE 6 ADULT = GIRLS AGE 8/9. (The corresponding XS mens = 13/14 boys). H & M is a full size smaller than other high street brands such as Top Shop and Zara. What is this doing to our already fragile daughters? I have written to H & M, including to their head office director, and so far they are not agreeing to change their size charts. Anorexia is the biggest mental health cause of death - What can we do to change H & Ms sizing policy? (of course it is cheaper to make smaller sized clothing). Any advice, post sharing, PR ideas please.

Leatherboundanddown Tue 02-May-17 18:37:07

I'm sorry your dd has had such a tough time.

H&M's sizing is completely ridiculous I do agree with you. I am a size 8 but there I need a 12.

PovertyJetset Tue 02-May-17 18:38:02

I wear an h and m size 8 and I wear a tipshop 10, a Zara small, a next 6, a river island 6, a Karen Millen 10.

So it's all bollocks.

I don't think you will get anywhere with this as I think you're factually wrong.

I'm 5,4 a healthy 8.5 stone and can wear all sorts of sizes as the high street is a crap shoot with vanity sizing.

I'm sorry for what your daughter went through but you're picking the wrong battle here.

SailAwayWithMeHoney Tue 02-May-17 18:38:48

It's not the first time it's been highlighted about H&M's sizing. There was a story I read online about a women (size 12) who could only fit into a size 20 dress in an h&m store.

I'm struggling with my weight and MH aswell currently and found an H&M skirt in a charity shop, it's a size 12 but it fits like an 8/10.

It's been raised many many times with H&M and all we can do is keep piling on the pressure and hope that people power makes them rethink their ridiculous sizing!

I'm sorry about your DD flowers

PossumInAPearTree Tue 02-May-17 18:39:18

It is crazy there. Size 10dd needs a large in trousers! They must be limiting their market because most people are too big for their clothes!

Astro55 Tue 02-May-17 18:40:00

Stop shopping there!!

Seriously you can't change the high street I'm a 10/12/14 in a variety of shops

It's just clothes they either fit or they don't

primaryboodle Tue 02-May-17 18:41:51

Yanbu my occasional bullimia spiralled out of control after a shopping session when i (as a 10/12 in most shops) struggled to do up the zip on size 16 jeans in h&m. It took me 3 years to get it under control and have now lost 3 teeth thanks to throwing up all food over the next 3 years.

Have got some 2nd hand h&m baby clothes where my 3-6 month wearing daughter couldnt fit in the 6-9 leggings around the waist... its disgusting

motherofteen1 Tue 02-May-17 18:42:57

my daughter refuses to enter the shop now, and so do I - but I'm thinking of all those other girls!

primaryboodle Tue 02-May-17 18:42:58

Obviously not blaming h&m for my bullimia but i totally empathise with your daughter and think they are really shitty as a company re: sizing

TizzyDongue Tue 02-May-17 18:43:25

Sadly I don't think it's really to do with H&M sizing, had you taken her to somewhere like M&S (where sizes are bigger) and she'd fitted snugly into the 2 (if they even do that) I think she's then have wanted to be be a 'size 2'.

I do hope she's getting decent help

Intransige Tue 02-May-17 18:45:03

I have two identical pairs of H&M jeans (same size, same style, bought relatively close together). One pair is very snug and the other pair is quite loose. My point is that the number on the clothes isn't a precise and categorical measure of anything. High street clothes at the H&M price point are sized totally randomly.

I'm really sorry about your DD. I hope she's ok flowers

motherofteen1 Tue 02-May-17 18:48:56

Thank you re DD - she is now v healthy, looks great and received amazing help along the way. Thank you also for sharing your bulimia story. Of course H & M isn't the sole cause of an eating disorder, but definitely contributing. I am hoping lots of people respond with their H & M stories, and then can e mail the link to their Chief executive, and also to some journalists, and they can see how many people's lives are being affected.

Violetcharlotte Tue 02-May-17 18:52:05

This is horrific but sadly I'm not surprised, H&M sizes are ridiculous.

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter x

Mymothersdaughter Tue 02-May-17 18:56:23

I agree. My BMI is <16 but couldn't fit into a pair of size 10s in H&M. I only buy tops there now.

Gap is good, especially the trousers as sizing is in inches so can get a perfect fit. New look tends to be generous. Marks and spencer generous but not many size 6s. I stay clear of Miss selfridge and topshop as their sizes are stupid.

Definitely not a cause but definitely triggering.

WhatInTheWorldIsGoingOn Tue 02-May-17 18:58:55

I'm a size 14 and can't do up a single pair of jeans in H and M. Lost don't go past knee level. I wear a size 18 blazer from there. It's a silly shop and I don't buy anything from there any more.

daydreamnation Tue 02-May-17 18:59:13

I'm an 8 everywhere but H&M where I'm a 12, I actually pre warned my dd about the sizing in there when she first starting shopping in the adult sections, I can totally see how it would upset a child with concerns about their size/weight.
Sorry to hear about your dd being so poorly flowers

UppityHumpty Tue 02-May-17 18:59:39

I sympathise but I have perfectly healthy relatives who wouldn't be able to get nice clothes were it not for for HM. All of my female relatives eat a lot, are tall, and wear a HM 6. Not everybody who wears this size is anorexic.

Mymothersdaughter Tue 02-May-17 19:00:00

PS great idea OP to collect experiences then contact the Chief Exec, it makes me so angry and surely they struggle to sell all the miniature stuff- who does fit it?! Who is buying it?!

Macauley Tue 02-May-17 19:05:14

I have a couple pairs of jeans from H&M all are the same size. Some fit me and some I can't get passed my thighs. I hope your dd is ok flowers

MaisyPops Tue 02-May-17 19:05:30

Sorry to hear about your daughter. I can see how that might have been triggering, but I don't think you can blame shops for needing you cater for a range of body shapes and sizes.

E.g. I'm very slim and athletic. When I buy lots of trousers I find places like next come up big - even in a size 6! So I don't buy clothes from them because their come up larger and don't fit me well. So I shop at shops where in general their fit slightly smaller.

I am hoping lots of people respond with their H & M stories, and then can e mail the link to their Chief executive, and also to some journalists, and they can see how many people's lives are being affected.
The black label in H&M is small sizing as in I take a 12 in those trousers... but I've always understood that range to be the tween into teen range e.g. bridging kids to women's. (It's almost always that range where people lose their shit on sizing but I think it's common sense as they're designed for prepubescent and early pubescent girls who are out the kids but not in womrns)

The main white/cream labels on most of thr womens stuff I think are pretty accurate. I take an XS or an 8 and I take an 8 in new look, XS in GAP and Oasis etc. If H&M make their sizes bigger (because the people just love bitching about H&M sizes it's like woman King's hobby! ) then that'll be another place I can't shop. I eat 2,500 calories a day and am perfectly healthy.

I don't shop in the black label teen range because it doesn't fit me well. If women know a shop doesn't fit them well, don't shop there but don't expect shops to make all their sizes bigger just because it's seemingly fine to assume anyone who is slim in unhealthy.

MaisyPops Tue 02-May-17 19:07:03

*womenkind's hobby

M5tothesouthwest Tue 02-May-17 19:15:08

I think it's not H&M whose sizing is wrong - it's the other retailers and their vanity sizing.
Not so long ago (1980s) a very slim person would be a size 10. Size 8s rarely existed, 6 and 4 definitely not.
As a nation we're getting bigger and the retailers are relabelling their sizes to make us feel better about ourselves. I'm 5'5, 10st3lbs and a comfortable size 12. There's no way I'd fit in a 1980s size 12, I'd be more like a 16.
I think because H&M are a European brand, they've not adjusted their sizes in the way M&S, TopShop etc have.

Mymothersdaughter Tue 02-May-17 19:15:49

Maisypops that makes a lot of sense. And I never knew that about the divided clothes, my mind is slightly blown. My only question would be why don't they just make the smaller stuff a size 2 or 4 rather than it being smaller than an average size 6 yet still labelled a size 6? That way it can still cater for smaller people but without the issue raised by the OP?

FerretsAreFeminists Tue 02-May-17 19:16:15

H&M didn't nearly kill your daughter. Her eating disorder did.

I'm also a bit sceptical about your claim that their adult size 6 is the same as a child's age 8-9. Granted I don't really shop in H&M but I do have two tops from H&M that are both size 6; one of them fits me and the other is slightly too big for me. In kids clothes I normally fit age 12/13/14 depending on where I'm shopping and what item of clothing it is.

Gizmo79 Tue 02-May-17 19:16:25

I do not understand why women's sizing is not like men's, all waist sizes done in inches, then there wouldn't be this variance. My husband is able to buy any trousers in a 34" waist and he knows they will always fit. It is bizarre in this day and age that women still have to try on so many different sizes as they vary so much.

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