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15yo MH issues

(11 Posts)
photsonex Wed 19-Apr-17 23:41:35

I'm not a parent, just need advice into how to approach this with my mum.

I have my GCSE'S in a months time and am predicted straight A*, I have good friends and no problems my parents wish to admit, and they seem to see me as almost perfect despite me trying to communicate mental health issues on several occasions.

My relationship with my dad is non existent; he seems to see it as because my grades are good I'm fine, and over my life has not tried to bond with me whatsoever which in itself has lead me to having issues connecting with people.
My mum is the total inverse. We are really close and I have tried to tell her that I'm not okay on several points over the past year and they've usually been brushed off with a "don't be silly".

I'm aware that my parents have seen scars on my arms in the past and I have been able to brush them off as usually, cuts from drama fight scenes but I'm a bad liar so I'd expect them to have known.

As everything is getting worse both at home and school (mainly me putting stress on myself to achieve my grades) I don't know how to approach this with my mum, especially as she is recovering from Cancer and I don't feel like my parents will be able to deal with me being not right.

My three closest friends have all suffered from depression/bipolar/schizophrenia and have all attempted suicide and I've always been there for them through it all, however I can't talk to them while they are recovering against my fear of triggering them, and as two of the friends were very public occurrences I feel like they will put it down to that and dismiss it in hand as they have before.

My main thing is the fact that I keep having suicidal thoughts and have massive body image issues despite being told i look like a typical American Jock (which my family know about, they just put it off to vanity rather than self-hatred really).

Any advice on how to approach this would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Kanga1973 Thu 20-Apr-17 07:00:35

I'm sorry that you are feeling this way. You need to talk to someone. Are there any other relatives you are close to? Teachers or staff at school? Also, look on the internet for support groups as they often have online forums.

Davros Thu 20-Apr-17 09:56:48

I'm very sorry to hear of your situation and applaud you for posting so very articulately. I think you should call Childline. Don't be put off by the word "child". They have a very good reputation and huge experience. I hope someone else comes along with better advice than I can give. flowers

Ktown Thu 20-Apr-17 10:03:06

I had a hard time as a teenager and I wouldn't underestimate hormones. Can you keep a diary to see if there is a pattern? For me a helpful GP saw me with pre menstrual syndrome or whatever it is now called.
I don't doubt you are having issues but my hormones made everything 10x worse and these can be managed fairly easily.
Also look at how healthily you are eating.
I cannot comment on mental health issues but you should speak to you GP about these.

Fingalswave Thu 20-Apr-17 10:03:12

So sorry you are feeling this way. You need to seek help elsewhere. How about contacting Young Minds. Apologies, cannot link from this particular device but they can be easily Googled and can help you. Good luck flowers

Fingalswave Thu 20-Apr-17 11:33:26

Now at work computer so can post link here.

Hope you get the help you need op. And maybe once you have, you can also get some help with bringing your parents on board so you can get their support too (as the current situation sounds v difficult indeed).

OhTheRoses Thu 20-Apr-17 11:45:01

Oh I am so sorry to hear this. That's tough for you and also your concerns are very real and you need help. My daughter was in a similar place a few years ago and I had to start a long, hard learning curve. Things you can do:

See your GP - you have a right to do this but he or she might want to contact your mum. MH in a child is difficult for mum's to get their heads round when all seems fine.

Ask your GP to refer you to CAMHS

Contact a charity called Heads Together

On-line counselling called Xen zone

If you ever feel the urge to act on suicidal thoughts call The Samaritans or go to your nearest A&E dept.

School counsellor or trusted teacher

Meanwhile could you write what you have written here and give it to your mum and tell her you have made a GP apt and you would like her to go with you.

I really feel for you and hope you get the help and support you need at this very stressful time.

With love.

Mumofjustthe1 Fri 21-Apr-17 23:41:33

Hi, I am the mother of a son that is struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts. My son got up one weekend early. And sort out the nearest doctors surgery, from there he was immediately referred to a hospital with a physiatric department. Three weeks on he now has regularly appointments with camhs therapists and they are working through what options are out their to ease his present mood. If it's any consolation, it is very common for teens to suffer anxiety and depression and in many cases it is something that passes and its definitely something you don't need to suffer alone. My heart goes out to you. If you are not conformance with the idea of speeding to gps maybe speed to a teacher. I word on a school ant you would not be the first student to reach out for support at school. I wish you well x

CreamCol0uredP0nies Sat 22-Apr-17 00:31:14

Hi there, it sounds like things are really tough for you right now and you deserve to be supported through this difficult time.
I would echo what others have said - is there a trusted adult or teacher you feel you could confide in? Perhaps there is a teacher who could at least support you with school work/ revision. It's hard, but try not to put too much pressure on yourself.
You sound like a very caring person with regard to your friends and your mum. I would suggest having a look at the Childline website, there's lots of information and advice there. If phoning a counsellor doesn't feel right for you ( freephone 0800 1111), you can email Childline with how you are feeling and a Childline counsellor will email you back. It's a safe place and the counsellors are there to listen to you and support you. It can take a day or so to respond to emails but sometimes people feel more comfortable writing things down - you express yourself so well here.
There's also a website called Doc Ready which has some great advice to help you get ready for a visit to your dr to explain how you're feeling.
I hope this helps a bit. You don't have to go through this on your own - you deserve to be happy and there are people who can help you. Take care.

EMSMUM16 Tue 25-Apr-17 19:12:38

What strikes me is that you seem to have taken on being a strong capable young person - & being seen as having no issues. This is a really difficult position because no one can be strong all of the time, nor should anyone have to be. I am sure having this persona makes it harder for you to really open up? But I think you will be surprised if you can find someone you trust to talk to, I am sure this will take some of the pressure off. Also, you have taken on huge responsibilities with your friends who have issues, whilst this is hugely admirable you have to be kind to yourself & remember you do not always have to be the strong one. Its ok to show that you're vulnerable. smile

user1492362793 Tue 25-Apr-17 19:15:06

Please speak to a teacher. You should not have to go through this on your own. Sending lots of love and positive thoughts.

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