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14 year old boy ? normal.

(15 Posts)
Babyroobs Wed 19-Apr-17 22:05:20

I'm worried about my 14 year old ds who rarely goes out. This Easter holidays he has only been out for an hour on a Saturday to do a community project and then two hours on the park with his friends.
He rarely speaks to any family members ( has 2 older brothers and a younger sister), only comes downstairs to eat then goes straight back to his room.
His room smells, usual teenage room clothes everywhere. he needs prompting to take showers and look after himself etc.
I have tried to ask him if he's depressed and he says not. I've asked him if he's like to go anywhere over the holidays and he says no there is nothing he wants to do.
He has no interest in earning any money . I've offered him money to wash my car / do the garden etc but he won't , maybe I should just make him do it anyway.
He is not unpleasant, in fact he is quite passive, just uncommunicative. Is this just a stage? My other elder ds's have not been like this they are both sociable and motivated to do things.
He has friends, gets invited out occasionally but declines.
I try to limit time spend on play station etc but it's hard as I work full time and can't enforce it.
Anyone else have the same problem.

AddToBasket Wed 19-Apr-17 22:06:15

Could he be addicted to gaming?

BernieKosar Wed 19-Apr-17 22:09:02

Is his PlayStation in his room?

ArriettyClock1 Wed 19-Apr-17 22:09:07

I don't know - this would worry me.

Mine spends hardly any time in his room but doesn't socialise a great deal either - maybe once a week. He does a lot of sport, so I think he gets his fill of mates then.

Some teens go through a morose phase and like to be alone, but neither of mine have - yet.

AnyFucker Wed 19-Apr-17 22:10:20

I would be worried about his online activities, tbh

Violetcharlotte Wed 19-Apr-17 22:11:55

DS2 went through a stage of this last year. I was worried too and actually spoke to a couple of other Mums who confirmed their DS were the same! Is he a gamer? 14 year old boys do seem to spend ridiculous amounts of time playing games, but if they're playing online it's how they socialise as they all chat while they're playing. If this is all it is and he seems perfectly happy in all other areas I wouldn't worry too much. This year DS (now nearly 16) is out all the time. I'm not sure what's worse!

Babyroobs Wed 19-Apr-17 22:13:35

Yes he is gaming and socialising on line with his mates. It would be hard to bring the game downstairs as we only have the one communal room for 6 of us.

Violetcharlotte Wed 19-Apr-17 22:16:01

I'd try not to worry too much then. It's incredibly annoying and frustrating but does seem the norm for this age group. As long as he's happy and doing ok at school I wouldn't worry too much at this stage. It won't be long until he discovers girls and alcohol! confused

Babyroobs Wed 19-Apr-17 22:16:29

And yes his friends mums say theirs are doing the same. I just feel like it's a wasted childhood really and wonder how he's ever going to gain life skills etc when he's stuck in his room .

MaidenMotherCrone Wed 19-Apr-17 22:16:32


Babyroobs Wed 19-Apr-17 22:18:37

Thanks Violet - Yes sometimes I think it's a good thing he's safe in his room and I know what he's doing as I know a few colleagues who's kids are getting into a lot of trouble. He's bright and doing well at school.

BernieKosar Wed 19-Apr-17 22:20:37

If you want him out and about a bit more, you're going to have to restrict the gaming.

It's a battle worth having I think.

Babyroobs Wed 19-Apr-17 22:24:58

He's agreed to cinema trip with dh at the weekend and possibly go- Karting soon with dh and his brothers. Even that suggestion was met with a grunt !

BernieKosar Wed 19-Apr-17 22:38:42

It's interesting to read about the physical effects of gaming addiction on developing teens. Vit D deficiency, low muscle tone, frontal lobe damage, depression, personality changes. etc.

I'm no expert but I can see a difference in my 11 yr old after just a few hours gaming that I just don't like.

His PlayStation is staying downstairs and he has to 'balance' gaming time with physical activity - even if it's just 20 mins on the trampoline.

I'm similarly frustrated by dd's addiction to her phone!

Babyroobs Wed 19-Apr-17 22:57:38

Thanks Bernie - I have started him on some vit D tablets.

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