E cigs and general behaviour

[tooodlepip]

Hi
I've not posted much on mn before but I feel like I could do with some advice, I would really appreciate it.

I have a 14 year old boy we have a great relationship. These days he has been going on and on about getting an e-cig he is constantly coming to have chats with me about it. He has even admitted he has purchased one and swears he uses 0mg nicotine. Here's the thing I don't want him to do this and I've tried talking him through things and have warned him that I don't want it in the house as he has 2 younger bros. anyway last night I caught him in his room, I took it and his phone, I happened to scroll through msgs on his phone and it seems that he has 3 mg oil and his friends are smoking weed and one friend in particular mentions taking acid. I don't think my boy would take acid but now I'm scared for him.

I don't know how to handle this should I just destroy the e cig and keep adding on sanctions etc and hope he gets over it.

My husband and I are non smokers always have been.

I also want to speak to his friends mums but he is begging me not to??

[FruitCider]

How old is he? You say teenage, this could be 13 or 17. Very wide age range there.

3mg is nothing. Depending on the kind of vape he could be absorbing the nicotine from less than 1 cigarette a day. Nicotine, whilst addictive, is not harmful. Recent studies now show that vaping is up to 97% safer than smoking. From a legal perspective, it is illegal to sell vape materials (including liquid) to those under 18, but like smoking, it is not illegal to vape under the age of 18.

I would view this from a harm reduction point of view. He could be smoking, like many teenagers used to. He isn't, he has chosen to vape instead. Think back to when you were a teenager - would an authoritarian approach from your parents removing your belongings have worked? Probably not!

[FruitCider]

Ahh, just saw he is 14. Very difficult age. I would work with him rather than against him on it. My concern is that his 24 year old friends are smoking cannabis/using acid which CAN be harmful. Have you told their parents? The cannabis is concerning.

[PencilsInSpace]

He's almost certainly smoking, given that his mates are smoking weed and he's using nicotine eliquid. If you destroy the ecig, chances are he'll smoke more.

On the offchance he is not smoking, he is highly unlikely to become addicted through vaping, even if he was using much higher strength. Nicotine is just not that addictive unless it's in lit tobacco.

The ecig is the least of your worries here. Smoking is the major issue, whether it's cannabis or 'just' tobacco. Highly addictive and incredibly harmful.

[Violetcharlotte]

Having teenagers is so hard isn't it? DS1 is 17 and has recently started smoking when he's with friends. I don't like it, but not much I can do about it, I've told him I don't want him doing in around me, in the garden, etc. DS2 (15) is v anti smoking but lots of his friends are smoking and I've had lots of conversations with friends whose kids are. The bottom line is theres not much you can do about it, from what I can see, parents who try and stop their kids going out and seeing particular friends only succeed in driving a wedge between them.

You say you've got a great relationship with your son, so I'd keep building on that make sure he understands what the boundaries are and keep the lines of conversation open. My DS tells me all about whose doing what drugs, etc as he knows I won't go ballistic (I absorb it all and keep it stored up!)

At the end of the day, teenagers have always experimented and broken the rules, it's part of growing up

[tooodlepip]

Thank you so much for the replies I'm thinking of giving it back to him if only to make him keep talking to me. It scares me what they can get into these days. His friends range between 14-16.

[FruitCider]

toodlepip I was doing far worse at his age... sounds like you have a good one there

[Violetcharlotte]

Toodlepip it's tough isn't it? I don't think is any different really to when we were young, but it's just hard when it's your own kids as you know the risks! I actually phoned my Mum the other day and apologised for all the things I did as a teenager

[tooodlepip]

It's really tough I just worry. Thanks everyone