13 year old dd has boyfriend already? wwyd

[amyt250190]

So my 13 year old dd has just told me she has a boyfriend. I asked all the questions like (whats his name, is he in your year at school and all that) but I've always been resistant with her having a boyfriend and I'm not sure how to react as she seems quite happy but if he breaks up with her I want to spare her the tears, not sure what to do - whether to leave it or step-in.

[5moreminutes]

It's quite likely that he's a "boyfriend" in inverted commas and that they barely speak to one another (her friend asked his friend to ask him to be her boyfriend and he told his friend to tell her friend ok ) Not necessarily of course, but don't blow it out of proportion and set yourself up for her never telling you anything again!

[amyt250190]

the messages betweeb the two iver instagram dm suggest overwise

[amyt250190]

this is her dms between the two

[LornaD40]

Our year 7s with girlfriends/boyfriends are very OTT and touchy feely (hugging and holding hands), but they'll be together one day and split the next. Always a drama. I'd listen to her, reassure her you understand how she feels/are listening but don't overreact too much. Nightmare!

[amyt250190]

And theres countless "I love you" messages too

[5moreminutes]

Hmm if he's her age I'd just be a listening ear and quietly monitor media. You can't "ban" or meddle without making it more important than it is... Has she confirmed he's in her year?

[amyt250190]

yes hes definately in her year and ive decided not to go against it and just go with it he seems alright

[tumpymummy]

DS15 has had a girlfriend since year 7 when he was 12, they were together for nearly 3 years. At first I thought they were really young but for the first year at least it really just meant that they chatted to each other on social media and saw each other at school ( both same age) Then as they got older they started seeing each other outside of school too, maybe for a Sunday afternoon or the odd day in the holidays. Although they both seemed young I was always happy about it as she was a nice girl and they still also saw other friends. DS also gets good grades at sch so I couldn't complain about her being a distraction. In fact I think she was a good influence. Plus I liked the fact that he had someone female he could talk to when he didn't want to discuss things with parents! They have now split up. I was always worried that when this finally happened it would be a big thing because they had been together so long. But it has been fine. They are still sort of friends, they just grew up and grew apart. So I would say that although it may seem young there can be positives too.

[user1471548375]

Don't you remember being 13? Everything is so intense, it's always love. Yes they'll break up, yes it will be the worst thing in the world, but she'll also move on in the space of a week. She's learning, testing boundaries, and getting to know who she is. Accept it, and be pleased she feels she can trust you with it.

[TreeTop7]

If he's her age, I wouldn't worry too much. It sounds normal. So intense! If my mates and I had had social media in the late 1980s we'd have been the same.