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What is responsibile parenting

(3 Posts)
restlessat50 Fri 17-Mar-17 22:36:04

My 15 year old daugther has started going out with a boy who is quite mature for his age (he is also 15). She is quite developed for her age and keen to grow up 2 friends of mine )advised me to get her put on the pill as a precautionary measure. I have done this but now I am having doubts worrying that she is too young (she is quite young for her age in some ways but thinks she is grown up) to cope with sex and more grown up relationship. He does seem quite grown up for his age (he lost his Mum a few years ago which I think made him grow up). I have also heard him on the phone telling my DD off for being rude to me. However I still am not sure it was the right thing to do she just seems too young but as both friends said better than a pregnancy. Interestingly neither of their kids are in relationships and they are not having to deal with such dilemia's!

Advise welcome

Bensyster Sat 18-Mar-17 07:41:34

I hope you've had a good chat with your daughter, she sounds too passive in this - "you got her put on the pill" and that would worry me.

corythatwas Sat 18-Mar-17 10:30:05

I think I agree with Bensyster here. I think you should be discussing your dd's sexuality with your dd, not with some friends of yours. And any decision should be taken by her or jointly between you, not involving other people who have nothing to do with it. My dd would have felt very betrayed if I had discussed her sex life with other people.

The problem is that if you expect young people to be passive and helpless, that is surprisingly often what you get. Maybe projecting here, but I can never forget the experience of being hi-jacked by another mother in dd's class who spent 10 minutes telling me that her dd (whom I barely knew by sight) was over-sexed and needed careful watching. Dd told me later that there was nothing unusual about the dd: she was just a normal young preteen. At that point. A few years later she was pregnant. I can't help feeling that her mother's attitude didn't help. Are you sure your friends are helping you? Shouldn't you be talking to your dd?

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